Nowadays nobody tells as it is in friendship. And then people wonder why they have so few real friends and why it always seem that friendships have reduced to eating out at a fancy joint and put on weight with sugared coffee at cafe ! Or worst -about keeping tabs on how many times you called them and the many times they called you [this calling business is worst for people like me who use mobiles to talk to the point and feel uncomfortable discussing economic situation in Africa on the mobile or worst small talk !]
I and many people complain that real friendships have disappeared and i feel envious of people who have buddies whom they can call at 3 am without feeling any obligation [ and not because they're schmuck but have real good understanding between them]
I've always been direct and for a long time if any of my friends asked for honesty ,i gave it. Now, I think twice,many times thrice [and sometimes i have stomachache because i'm dying to blurt].Nowadays, I don't give honest opinion because many people cannot handle it.They feel slighted and then turn on me to take their revenge.So, i have only a one or two friends where we tell as it is.I love it when someone tells me as it especially if its a constructive reality about me and when i know my friend has no agenda and nothing to gain from it.
It makes for real friendship and real respect.
Someone told me that friends too come with an expiry date.I don't know about that. I think generally people leave because they don't care and love you any more and therefore they are unwilling to tolerate your psychotic,moody or schizophrenic or eccentric or idiosyncratic existence.Or maybe they bored to death with you.Maybe you are too demanding, too egoistic ,too arrogant,too much of a liar[white lies included !],or plain bogus phony to begin with.
And sometimes, its got nothing to do with you at all !
Learning to live with loneliness and aloneness and find best practices for coping is extremely crucial in these times.
Monday, 16 November 2009
Love
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride; so I love you because I know no other way that this: where I does not exist, nor you, so close that your hand on my chest is my hand, so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.
- Pablo Neruda
x-x-x
I think that: there are those who suffer at the hands of those whom they love because they are afraid to lose them.
Then there are those who suffer because they understand,empathize and love inspite of the reality of the person they love. They love truly, they suffer the most.
Tuesday, 18 August 2009
The forces of mediocrity
"Maybe it should be, "the forces for mediocrity"...
There's a myth that all you need to do is outline your vision and prove it, right ? Then, quite suddenly, people will line up and support you.
In fact, the opposite is true. Remarkable visions and genuine insight are always met with resistance. And when you start to make progress, your efforts are met with even more resistance. Products, services, career paths... whatever it is, the forces for mediocrity will align to stop you, forgiving no errors and never backing down until it's over.
If it were any other way, it would be easy. And if it were any other way, everyone would do it and your work would ultimately be devalued. The yin and yang are clear: without people pushing against your quest to do something worth talking about, it's unlikely it would be worth the journey. Persist."
x--------x
P.S: I don't know where i got this from and who said this. However , its not mine !
There's a myth that all you need to do is outline your vision and prove it, right ? Then, quite suddenly, people will line up and support you.
In fact, the opposite is true. Remarkable visions and genuine insight are always met with resistance. And when you start to make progress, your efforts are met with even more resistance. Products, services, career paths... whatever it is, the forces for mediocrity will align to stop you, forgiving no errors and never backing down until it's over.
If it were any other way, it would be easy. And if it were any other way, everyone would do it and your work would ultimately be devalued. The yin and yang are clear: without people pushing against your quest to do something worth talking about, it's unlikely it would be worth the journey. Persist."
x--------x
P.S: I don't know where i got this from and who said this. However , its not mine !
Sunday, 16 August 2009
Customer nightmare !
Customer care in India - by Indians and for Indians cannot be labeled as 'care' by any measure of fanciful imagination. Even while we excel at 'outsourced' customer care the same stringent standards are not applied by desi customer care sweatshops for aam janata.
An average Indian, I presume uses a bank, a mobile service provider ,a 2 wheeler and some miscellaneous services like cable TV,landline connection for telephone.Nowadays, all pamplets and marketing leaflets come with 1800------ numbers [tollfree] . God forbid if you ever dial that number !
My experience has been the following :
1. BSNL customer care: No customer care. Hell, nobody cares if you are the bloody customer.
Scenario # 1: You dig,research,beg, make trips to the telephone exchange to get hold of that elusive number.
Scenario # 2: You dial the number. Any or all of the following might happen to you :
a. The phone rings and rings and rings- the customer rep at the other end is waiting for you to hang up !
b. Since you are a persistent fellow: You dial again. The line is engaged.
c. You dial at any hour of the day - the line is perpetually engaged.
d. You finally get hold of someone at the line. He promises he'll come tomorrow.Of course, tomorrow never comes.
You,on the other hand, start again from Point a.
2. ICICI bank:
Scenario # 1: I make a trip to the bank to fill up a perfectly innocous little form 15G. The bank customer reps smile A LOT in the bank. I think those idiots know very little and care even less about customer care so they smile a lot.
Since I'm a suspicious,cynical ,world weary pretty girl I smile back hoping he doesn't screw up.
All the following happened to me:
a. He screwed up . TDS got cut and i went back to the branch.
b. Let me tell you, I did try their horrendous phone banking. That customer rep kept me on hold on a non toll free number [yes, ICICI bank phone banking numbers are no longer toll free. Did you ever recieve any communication regarding that ? No, I know i didn't ]
Its funny - how they bombard our email boxes with their promotional emails but somehow it becomes our responsibility to keep track of changes they make in their services !
Any way, the phone banking guy told me to go back to the branch.
c. I go to the bank's priviledge counter hoping they 'll solve their glitch. I find myself repeating the story again.
The 'priviledge' bank guy keeps nodding his head and calls up the bank's back office. He repeats my story to the guy/gal on the line. I sit there for some resolution. Nobody calls him back with 'promised callback. I sit looking at him for 45 minutes untill i lose it and ask him to give me a call when he gets some answer.
d. Yeah, you guessed it .I never got any call from him !
e. Since i'm lukha at the moment and feeling very persistent i write to customer care .Each time a new person writes to me asking me to repeat what i have painstakingly written in the first mail i've written to them.
f. I've exchanged over 6-7 mails. No resolution of the problem.
g. My mails were bouncing back when i wrote at customercare@icicibank.com. That stunted retard of customer care manager writes to me saying that their email is working fine.They don't admit mistakes and screw ups.
h. Current status: I'm close to giving up.
Moral of the story: Do not expect customer care by the indians for the indian. There is NO such thing. We as a culture work only when we are bribed.
When you buy the service ,pay the service charge to the government and know that money-back, exchange and all other promises on the paper or by mouth are marketing tools. If the broadband doesn't work or your ipod explodes , consider it money gone to waste because of your karma.
Those toll free numbers are to be used at your own risk and they should come with a warning:- 'Toll free or non toll free customer care numbers are injurious to health'
As for me, I have adopted a Zen-like attitude to customer care because i became worried about my blood pressure.
An average Indian, I presume uses a bank, a mobile service provider ,a 2 wheeler and some miscellaneous services like cable TV,landline connection for telephone.Nowadays, all pamplets and marketing leaflets come with 1800------ numbers [tollfree] . God forbid if you ever dial that number !
My experience has been the following :
1. BSNL customer care: No customer care. Hell, nobody cares if you are the bloody customer.
Scenario # 1: You dig,research,beg, make trips to the telephone exchange to get hold of that elusive number.
Scenario # 2: You dial the number. Any or all of the following might happen to you :
a. The phone rings and rings and rings- the customer rep at the other end is waiting for you to hang up !
b. Since you are a persistent fellow: You dial again. The line is engaged.
c. You dial at any hour of the day - the line is perpetually engaged.
d. You finally get hold of someone at the line. He promises he'll come tomorrow.Of course, tomorrow never comes.
You,on the other hand, start again from Point a.
2. ICICI bank:
Scenario # 1: I make a trip to the bank to fill up a perfectly innocous little form 15G. The bank customer reps smile A LOT in the bank. I think those idiots know very little and care even less about customer care so they smile a lot.
Since I'm a suspicious,cynical ,world weary pretty girl I smile back hoping he doesn't screw up.
All the following happened to me:
a. He screwed up . TDS got cut and i went back to the branch.
b. Let me tell you, I did try their horrendous phone banking. That customer rep kept me on hold on a non toll free number [yes, ICICI bank phone banking numbers are no longer toll free. Did you ever recieve any communication regarding that ? No, I know i didn't ]
Its funny - how they bombard our email boxes with their promotional emails but somehow it becomes our responsibility to keep track of changes they make in their services !
Any way, the phone banking guy told me to go back to the branch.
c. I go to the bank's priviledge counter hoping they 'll solve their glitch. I find myself repeating the story again.
The 'priviledge' bank guy keeps nodding his head and calls up the bank's back office. He repeats my story to the guy/gal on the line. I sit there for some resolution. Nobody calls him back with 'promised callback. I sit looking at him for 45 minutes untill i lose it and ask him to give me a call when he gets some answer.
d. Yeah, you guessed it .I never got any call from him !
e. Since i'm lukha at the moment and feeling very persistent i write to customer care .Each time a new person writes to me asking me to repeat what i have painstakingly written in the first mail i've written to them.
f. I've exchanged over 6-7 mails. No resolution of the problem.
g. My mails were bouncing back when i wrote at customercare@icicibank.com. That stunted retard of customer care manager writes to me saying that their email is working fine.They don't admit mistakes and screw ups.
h. Current status: I'm close to giving up.
Moral of the story: Do not expect customer care by the indians for the indian. There is NO such thing. We as a culture work only when we are bribed.
When you buy the service ,pay the service charge to the government and know that money-back, exchange and all other promises on the paper or by mouth are marketing tools. If the broadband doesn't work or your ipod explodes , consider it money gone to waste because of your karma.
Those toll free numbers are to be used at your own risk and they should come with a warning:- 'Toll free or non toll free customer care numbers are injurious to health'
As for me, I have adopted a Zen-like attitude to customer care because i became worried about my blood pressure.
Wednesday, 29 July 2009
Musing
Relating to a man or a woman on equal terms based on humanity might be just what is required to build friendships or even love.Will it matter that the person i'm befriending or being attracted be more smarter,more better than average,more intelligent ,more everything ,more successful,fits in societal expectations much better than others? Should i love him/her because in some weird calculations he/she is much better and ahead of others in rat race.If so it happens,does that person love me because I'm not better than him/her ?
Is it worth it ?
Is it worth it ?
Saturday, 18 July 2009
Ingliss
Is it just me and my family or it happens with practically every second person in India ?
Last week, the municipality guy came with my super late ,years pending Voter's id card. My name was spelt wrong as usual - i have corrected my names and my family members names at least 7-8 times in last 2 years, in those printed sheets that municipality maydums and babus come with ,knocking on my door.Last time, i lost my patience and gave a peace of my mind to that dumb-looking and possibly drugged lady and i told her i've corrected names quite often and yet she comes with the sheet with misspelt names. Do they have monkeys to do data entry in the PMC offices?
She didn't reply because obviously she was least bothered. She was paid to make rounds of colonies in Pune to get the names corrected.
Anyway that is about the name on the card. Horrors of horrors , that voter's id card had someone else's photograph! It was my misspelt name with some toothy lady's photograph and that municipality idiot repeatedly kept asking me if that photo was not me !
Now, the least thing i can be sure with utmost zeal is to recognize my photo when i see one.Apparently that government zombie couldn't believe his ears !
Unfortunately the story doesn't end here.Ages ago when voter's id card were first thought of - my dutiful parents applied for theirs. Guess what !
Not just misspelt names but they made my Dad with a beard in the photo a 'Female' and totally misspelt my mom's married name.
The same story is about passports too. These documents which more often than not are our id proofs are made by monkeys who can't spell English words and who are so idiotic that they can't copy the names correctly from application forms and certificates that are attached when applying for a passports.
Are the governemnt jobs auctioned ? What kind of uneducated, lazy and careless people are given jobs to make these documents ? No wonder , that anyone can get passports in India with good money thrown in. When so many uneducated youths are jobless can you please reallocate jobs of those who produce shoddy ,misspelt passports and voter's id cards and give their places to someone who can do error free data entry and also use some of their brain and eyes while doing their jobs ?
Now that ,Nandan Nilekani is going to give us are unique id number ,i'm petrified about the mess the municipality and government officers will make with the information collected for that purpose.
God save us and the taxpayers' money going down the drain or in making of a sea link !By the way, has anyone used that bloody sea link as yet ?
Last week, the municipality guy came with my super late ,years pending Voter's id card. My name was spelt wrong as usual - i have corrected my names and my family members names at least 7-8 times in last 2 years, in those printed sheets that municipality maydums and babus come with ,knocking on my door.Last time, i lost my patience and gave a peace of my mind to that dumb-looking and possibly drugged lady and i told her i've corrected names quite often and yet she comes with the sheet with misspelt names. Do they have monkeys to do data entry in the PMC offices?
She didn't reply because obviously she was least bothered. She was paid to make rounds of colonies in Pune to get the names corrected.
Anyway that is about the name on the card. Horrors of horrors , that voter's id card had someone else's photograph! It was my misspelt name with some toothy lady's photograph and that municipality idiot repeatedly kept asking me if that photo was not me !
Now, the least thing i can be sure with utmost zeal is to recognize my photo when i see one.Apparently that government zombie couldn't believe his ears !
Unfortunately the story doesn't end here.Ages ago when voter's id card were first thought of - my dutiful parents applied for theirs. Guess what !
Not just misspelt names but they made my Dad with a beard in the photo a 'Female' and totally misspelt my mom's married name.
The same story is about passports too. These documents which more often than not are our id proofs are made by monkeys who can't spell English words and who are so idiotic that they can't copy the names correctly from application forms and certificates that are attached when applying for a passports.
Are the governemnt jobs auctioned ? What kind of uneducated, lazy and careless people are given jobs to make these documents ? No wonder , that anyone can get passports in India with good money thrown in. When so many uneducated youths are jobless can you please reallocate jobs of those who produce shoddy ,misspelt passports and voter's id cards and give their places to someone who can do error free data entry and also use some of their brain and eyes while doing their jobs ?
Now that ,Nandan Nilekani is going to give us are unique id number ,i'm petrified about the mess the municipality and government officers will make with the information collected for that purpose.
God save us and the taxpayers' money going down the drain or in making of a sea link !By the way, has anyone used that bloody sea link as yet ?
Tuesday, 14 July 2009
Answers
I recently understood a most pertinent fact that everyone is dysfunctional in one sense or the other in this world. It took me years of everyday practical life and many mistakes and a lot of reading to understand that. Yep ,i mostly read to find answers because like most people i don't have a wise old man/woman helping me make sense of my many stumbles.
One such time ,in my darkest period, i came across this site- http://www.helpyourselftherapy.com/topics/grow.html.
I often refer to it when people try to manipulate my reality for their gains and when I let my mind get clouded in my everyday life.
The most primary thought which i keep forgetting is : I have a choice in every situation and only i can choose. Not making my choices however painful it may be :- is still a choice.
One such time ,in my darkest period, i came across this site- http://www.helpyourselftherapy.com/topics/grow.html.
I often refer to it when people try to manipulate my reality for their gains and when I let my mind get clouded in my everyday life.
The most primary thought which i keep forgetting is : I have a choice in every situation and only i can choose. Not making my choices however painful it may be :- is still a choice.
Monday, 29 June 2009
Education
Education is a new business in India. All it takes is the name of an achiever and eminent personality at the helm to float a deemed university or business school, promotional marketing and advertising. When i was growing up, i did not see full page ads of any B-school or infact any college.Now, maybe most of the advertisers of the newspapers are those who have set up shops to teach this and that course.
There is no ranking system which can say which university is better based on the staff and infrastructure. There are many private institutes offering novel courses without any kind of accreditation. Every June ,scores of admission notices come out with half baked or total crap posed as information and students lap up.
Why are the consumers of education taking shit dished out by colleges and universities now? Fees have increased 10 fold in many courses and seats have increased yet colleges even the premier ones are dishing out the same story of lack of good staff.
There is a new drama of each college conducting its own entrance tests.Most of these entrance tests are sham.The moneyed and underhand students [and their parents] manage to get admission any ways !
For eg B.ed course in Maharashtra. Rs 650 for CET entrance exam - one gets a form and an information brochure at computer centers which sell these forms. What the information brochure doesn't tell is the computer centre takes Rs 20 to upload the filled form. After CET exam, results are displayed on MKCL website however information brochure of B.Ed fails to inform students that college codes will also be available at the website hence the computer centre [ALC] sells information brochure and college preference form for Rs 50 and Rs 20 to make money.
When one goes through the available colleges under this centralized procedure, there are very few B.Ed colleges in English medium. Majority of the colleges are Marathi medium so one realises there are very few options for only English medium students.
After doing all this one realizes, there ia a separate CET exam conducted by Maharashtra Vina Anudan Adhyapak Mahavidyalay Sansthachalak Association which provides seats in some 100 odd colleges. In short, a brilliant student will have to give atleast 2-3 entrance exams for such courses to keep his options open. For mediocre students, he has to be open to go whereever he gets admission or pay up.
For MBA etc, colleges sell prospectus and forms from 1000 to 1500 and now for other courses like B.Ed ,open category has to shell out 650 + other expenses and then once admitted buy college forms.After long stretched out tamashas,students are then heaped more crap in form of teachers who are sadists,incompetent, unprofessional,egotists who don't want to teach and cover up their inefficiency under the guise of discipline.In India, 90% of teachers are people who don't love to teach !
The only people who are making money are the ones who start these so called colleges and courses with fancy names.
There is no ranking system which can say which university is better based on the staff and infrastructure. There are many private institutes offering novel courses without any kind of accreditation. Every June ,scores of admission notices come out with half baked or total crap posed as information and students lap up.
Why are the consumers of education taking shit dished out by colleges and universities now? Fees have increased 10 fold in many courses and seats have increased yet colleges even the premier ones are dishing out the same story of lack of good staff.
There is a new drama of each college conducting its own entrance tests.Most of these entrance tests are sham.The moneyed and underhand students [and their parents] manage to get admission any ways !
For eg B.ed course in Maharashtra. Rs 650 for CET entrance exam - one gets a form and an information brochure at computer centers which sell these forms. What the information brochure doesn't tell is the computer centre takes Rs 20 to upload the filled form. After CET exam, results are displayed on MKCL website however information brochure of B.Ed fails to inform students that college codes will also be available at the website hence the computer centre [ALC] sells information brochure and college preference form for Rs 50 and Rs 20 to make money.
When one goes through the available colleges under this centralized procedure, there are very few B.Ed colleges in English medium. Majority of the colleges are Marathi medium so one realises there are very few options for only English medium students.
After doing all this one realizes, there ia a separate CET exam conducted by Maharashtra Vina Anudan Adhyapak Mahavidyalay Sansthachalak Association which provides seats in some 100 odd colleges. In short, a brilliant student will have to give atleast 2-3 entrance exams for such courses to keep his options open. For mediocre students, he has to be open to go whereever he gets admission or pay up.
For MBA etc, colleges sell prospectus and forms from 1000 to 1500 and now for other courses like B.Ed ,open category has to shell out 650 + other expenses and then once admitted buy college forms.After long stretched out tamashas,students are then heaped more crap in form of teachers who are sadists,incompetent, unprofessional,egotists who don't want to teach and cover up their inefficiency under the guise of discipline.In India, 90% of teachers are people who don't love to teach !
The only people who are making money are the ones who start these so called colleges and courses with fancy names.
Tuesday, 23 June 2009
Life on the sidelines!
Cancer hit my family pretty hard exactly 1 year 3 months and 15days ago. I never thought: of all diseases, cancer would hit home . My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer-out of the blue. The year went like a whirlwind -all that i have now is dust in my eyes and ears. For the first 2 months, all of us were dazed.
How can anyone be alert for cancer?
Cancer is part of my life -its always there at the back of my mind. We celebrated when mom got her mammography done last time.She'll have to undergo sonography and x-ray every three months- no guarantees !
We live in hope with unvoiced dread.I've become more cynical,realistic and cold in many ways- I don't know what anyone else can be.
My father suffers from glaucoma,operated in one eye. He has been putting eye drops from last 8 years.He'll have to continue putting drops everyday till he lives.He has diabetes and blood pressure.He's the guy who eats at home ,does not smoke or drink.My mom is a cancer survivor and life is not the same after chemotherapy .Her bones are weakening ,a probable side effect of aromatase inhibitor that she has to take for 5 years.My mom does not drink or smoke ,eats at home, has borne 3 daughters and breastfed them and still she got cancer.Since she's a courageous funky lady who functions on will power- she makes rotis for us and she does most of the things for herself at home.Yet, she's scared of going out alone and crossing the road because she might not be able to run,if required, while crossing the road as traffic in Pune is perilous if not downright crass.
I don't ask anything to God when i pray to him. Don't ask anything to Him for myself.I don't feel like it !And I haven't cried in last one year.Last time i cried was when the fluid sample taken from lump was confirmed cancerous. And that's funny because before my mom got cancer i used to cry when things didn't go my way,in pain or even for a sob story.
How can anyone be alert for cancer?
Cancer is part of my life -its always there at the back of my mind. We celebrated when mom got her mammography done last time.She'll have to undergo sonography and x-ray every three months- no guarantees !
We live in hope with unvoiced dread.I've become more cynical,realistic and cold in many ways- I don't know what anyone else can be.
My father suffers from glaucoma,operated in one eye. He has been putting eye drops from last 8 years.He'll have to continue putting drops everyday till he lives.He has diabetes and blood pressure.He's the guy who eats at home ,does not smoke or drink.My mom is a cancer survivor and life is not the same after chemotherapy .Her bones are weakening ,a probable side effect of aromatase inhibitor that she has to take for 5 years.My mom does not drink or smoke ,eats at home, has borne 3 daughters and breastfed them and still she got cancer.Since she's a courageous funky lady who functions on will power- she makes rotis for us and she does most of the things for herself at home.Yet, she's scared of going out alone and crossing the road because she might not be able to run,if required, while crossing the road as traffic in Pune is perilous if not downright crass.
I don't ask anything to God when i pray to him. Don't ask anything to Him for myself.I don't feel like it !And I haven't cried in last one year.Last time i cried was when the fluid sample taken from lump was confirmed cancerous. And that's funny because before my mom got cancer i used to cry when things didn't go my way,in pain or even for a sob story.
Monday, 1 June 2009
Money ,money- my money
I had a frustrating time over the phone with Bajaj Allianz customer care. hence this post. 3 years ago i was sold a ULIP- a bajaj allianz ULIP. And the stock market tanked !
When i bought the policy - it was bought from a friend. I was informed about the charges but nothing about returns and risk and surrender charges.
So now i'm stuck with paying 3 year premium -locked in and the agent who is unreachable through phone or in person -absconding.
Over the period of 3 years this is what i learnt and hopefully still learning:
1. Don't buy a ULIP or mutual funds just because a smooth talking agent promises returns.The returns are NOT gauranteed. In India, even gauranteed returns are NOT guaranteed. So life rule no.1 is applicable here as well,- There are no gaurantees ! .....Yep, don't even trust 'friends' !
2. Read up as much as you can on ULIPs [ it seems in India, 90% of the people are invested in ULIPs and insurance companies are flourishing because people know next to zero about ULIPs].
Its your hard earned money and not the agents'.
3. The agent/financial planner'advisor is going to abscond,disappear, turn a deaf ear etc because that's how business is largely done in India. So be prepared mentally, to keep tab of your investments.
4. Even if the agent doesn't abscond, you still need to periodically keep checking NAVs,make switches in funds in ULIP.You'll need to give more Time to it than your wife/husband/job, i guess.
5. ULIPs have poor returns especially after you include the hefty charges they take from your premium. Yes, buddy, you are probably stuck in a sinking ship just like me.
6.They have a hefty surrender charge even after 3 year lock in period.
7. Its a long long term investment.
8. The customer service of Bajaj allianz is appalling . So i figure, it'll be same with other insurance providers too. So,get very very persistent,assertive and rude if need be to get your work done. That's how it goes in India !
9. Stick to FDs especially if you are stock market,share market or bull /bear challenged !
When i bought the policy - it was bought from a friend. I was informed about the charges but nothing about returns and risk and surrender charges.
So now i'm stuck with paying 3 year premium -locked in and the agent who is unreachable through phone or in person -absconding.
Over the period of 3 years this is what i learnt and hopefully still learning:
1. Don't buy a ULIP or mutual funds just because a smooth talking agent promises returns.The returns are NOT gauranteed. In India, even gauranteed returns are NOT guaranteed. So life rule no.1 is applicable here as well,- There are no gaurantees ! .....Yep, don't even trust 'friends' !
2. Read up as much as you can on ULIPs [ it seems in India, 90% of the people are invested in ULIPs and insurance companies are flourishing because people know next to zero about ULIPs].
Its your hard earned money and not the agents'.
3. The agent/financial planner'advisor is going to abscond,disappear, turn a deaf ear etc because that's how business is largely done in India. So be prepared mentally, to keep tab of your investments.
4. Even if the agent doesn't abscond, you still need to periodically keep checking NAVs,make switches in funds in ULIP.You'll need to give more Time to it than your wife/husband/job, i guess.
5. ULIPs have poor returns especially after you include the hefty charges they take from your premium. Yes, buddy, you are probably stuck in a sinking ship just like me.
6.They have a hefty surrender charge even after 3 year lock in period.
7. Its a long long term investment.
8. The customer service of Bajaj allianz is appalling . So i figure, it'll be same with other insurance providers too. So,get very very persistent,assertive and rude if need be to get your work done. That's how it goes in India !
9. Stick to FDs especially if you are stock market,share market or bull /bear challenged !
hmm...
I finally saw Slumdog Millionaire ..thanks to cablewalla - both ,in English and Hindi.Yeah, i didn't go to watch the movie at the theatre !
And i was disappointed. I didn't like the movie so much.Maybe because i've been to mumbai and travelled in local trains, seen little children begging at traffic signals since i was a child or because i've seen too many slums and shanties perilously hiding behind a posh locality or even a not so posh one !
The first part of the movie was good.Especially the cinematography on the thumping music. I liked Rahman's music and am all too happy for the Oscars the movie got. However, the movie didn't blow my brains out nor did it devastate my heart like other realist,heart wrenching movies. I think Shwaas devastated me better than Slumdog millionaire. Since i'm a cry baby and an emotional sucker, there were few scenes in the movie which made me wail however overall it did not leave me cold. Therefore,I don't think the movie must have affected /impacted people who are generally cold,practical and cut throat in various degrees and yes -realistic !
After seeing the movie, i think Frieda Pinto was as much an aesthetic prop as any Bollywood heroine. She hardly had any scenes- not even enough to showcase her acting.It was out and out Dev Patel's movie and yes the children - the movie belonged to the children who acted so well.
And i was disappointed. I didn't like the movie so much.Maybe because i've been to mumbai and travelled in local trains, seen little children begging at traffic signals since i was a child or because i've seen too many slums and shanties perilously hiding behind a posh locality or even a not so posh one !
The first part of the movie was good.Especially the cinematography on the thumping music. I liked Rahman's music and am all too happy for the Oscars the movie got. However, the movie didn't blow my brains out nor did it devastate my heart like other realist,heart wrenching movies. I think Shwaas devastated me better than Slumdog millionaire. Since i'm a cry baby and an emotional sucker, there were few scenes in the movie which made me wail however overall it did not leave me cold. Therefore,I don't think the movie must have affected /impacted people who are generally cold,practical and cut throat in various degrees and yes -realistic !
After seeing the movie, i think Frieda Pinto was as much an aesthetic prop as any Bollywood heroine. She hardly had any scenes- not even enough to showcase her acting.It was out and out Dev Patel's movie and yes the children - the movie belonged to the children who acted so well.
Saturday, 16 May 2009
Compensation
The victim, Prashant S. Dhananka, 39,confined to the wheelchair due to negligence by a doctor at NIMS, Hyderabad got compensated for a lifetime on wheelchair.And guess what ,after 19 years !
Since India is touted and sold as 'medical tourism' spot, this case and registered cases of negligence by doctors if given enough limelight can hopefully bring about a change in attitude of doctors in India.
Sure, I completely understand that doctors in India want to recover their medical tuition fees, build a clinic- a superspecislity one in urban hotspot, send their children to US to study and all other dreams that middle class in India only dream about !
However, at the end of the day, their job is not similar to an software engineer.They are dealing with human lives !
Now , most doctors care least for human lives and same goes for hospitals . Remember we are a billion plus !
So. let's stop treating and respecting doctors as gods and quickly bring them under strict laws where if they neglect to do their duty in face of money or simply don't care enough they can be punished, sued and made to pay for their negligence in a year or two and not 19 years !
People who have gone under the knife or has seen a relative or friend getting operated very well know that hospitals and doctors explain the risk factors in 3-5 page document in which its clearly said that if anything happens to the patient on operation table its NOT their responsibility. And one HAS to sign this consent form BEFORE the operation.
In such a scenario, Indian public ,especially the uneducated ones have nowhere to turn in case of negligence by the surgeon. God knows, there must be zillions of cases languishing ,given up hope of any kind of redressal.
In US/Europe, medical fraternity is shit scared of being sued...when are our doctors going to be scared by laws and by awareness that their reputation could be ruined by being negligent. My personal opinion is, Indian doctors are overworked....they perform too many operations on monthly basis especially the really good ones. And in India- a clear 50% of the doctors have become doctors attracted by money,intelligence and because they scored 97-100% in PCB or cleared a bloody entrance exam with flying colours.
I think that's the reason young doctors especially the savvier ones protested so much when they were asked to dedicate a year of their life to rural and backward India - no money there but lots of mosquitoes !
Many more people need to become doctors because they really want to become one.
If they want to earn money, they could become software engineers !!
Since India is touted and sold as 'medical tourism' spot, this case and registered cases of negligence by doctors if given enough limelight can hopefully bring about a change in attitude of doctors in India.
Sure, I completely understand that doctors in India want to recover their medical tuition fees, build a clinic- a superspecislity one in urban hotspot, send their children to US to study and all other dreams that middle class in India only dream about !
However, at the end of the day, their job is not similar to an software engineer.They are dealing with human lives !
Now , most doctors care least for human lives and same goes for hospitals . Remember we are a billion plus !
So. let's stop treating and respecting doctors as gods and quickly bring them under strict laws where if they neglect to do their duty in face of money or simply don't care enough they can be punished, sued and made to pay for their negligence in a year or two and not 19 years !
People who have gone under the knife or has seen a relative or friend getting operated very well know that hospitals and doctors explain the risk factors in 3-5 page document in which its clearly said that if anything happens to the patient on operation table its NOT their responsibility. And one HAS to sign this consent form BEFORE the operation.
In such a scenario, Indian public ,especially the uneducated ones have nowhere to turn in case of negligence by the surgeon. God knows, there must be zillions of cases languishing ,given up hope of any kind of redressal.
In US/Europe, medical fraternity is shit scared of being sued...when are our doctors going to be scared by laws and by awareness that their reputation could be ruined by being negligent. My personal opinion is, Indian doctors are overworked....they perform too many operations on monthly basis especially the really good ones. And in India- a clear 50% of the doctors have become doctors attracted by money,intelligence and because they scored 97-100% in PCB or cleared a bloody entrance exam with flying colours.
I think that's the reason young doctors especially the savvier ones protested so much when they were asked to dedicate a year of their life to rural and backward India - no money there but lots of mosquitoes !
Many more people need to become doctors because they really want to become one.
If they want to earn money, they could become software engineers !!
Monday, 4 May 2009
Life lesson
Yesterday being a Sunday, i was doing timepass in my building lobby/entrance/whatever with children and teenagers who stay in my building. Out of the blue, a 10th standard teenager confided how confused she was and had no idea what to do for her career .Now, I was really scared ! I was fervently hoping that she wouldn't ask for any career advice. From last 5 years , i'm hopelessly clueless about careers.Personally, i am a career vagrant- I have managed to earn a living however have no career path whatsoever and i'm still clueless about what i really want to do or be.Since thinking about my lack of career and ambitions gives me headaches, i do whatever i get to do.
Hope against hope, she asked me :"Didi, should i do science? Then go for engineering /medicine... i can always change after 12th na, if i don't get a good score ?
If this question was asked to me 6-7 years, I would have promptly given her a short lecture on 'if you do this, than these are the options....blah,blah and blah'.Nowadays, teenagers are much sauve,smarter and aware about what options they have. They are very clear about values which will help them decide careers.It is science/engnrr/MBA/CA = potentially higher paying professional degrees. Everything else becomes an option, if you don't succeed in above mentioned choices.So, when this kid asked me for 'advice' , I gauged she was really looking for affirmation.
Instead of directly answering her question/completely evading her question I decided to tell her about a person's career path- someone I knew personally and have highest regard for.
I told her about X...who was very hardworking and extremely dedicated toward his studies. Maybe didn't score high enough to enter M.B.B.S in 12th however completed B.Pharm as topper in his college, i think. He worked hard at his job as an executive in pharma co. and with sheer determination,smart work and by knowing how to manage his superiors and bosses he scaled promotions. X also went on to work in clinical research and soon gave his CAT.[ I personally think, returning to books after working professionally full time for 3-4 years requires immense aptitude and motivation] . He cleared CAT while working fulltime and staying alone in a city away from his parents and immediate family.
Not only that, he took up an Executive MBA program for 2 years from IIM-K, [i think distance learning] and completed it successfully while working fulltime.
The last i heard from him he was a Project Manager- clinical research [inspite, of placements in management] - most importantly doing something he liked.
He spent his energy,time, and of course money for himself and the great thing is -he has something to show for them.
Kudos to Mr X !
I have repeated this achievement to many people around my age who are frustrated by lack of options, their jobs or general rut of life but this is the first time i told a 15 year old. I hope she doesn't snort and bicker because i didn't tell her what she really wanted to hear and actually remember this example.
Hope against hope, she asked me :"Didi, should i do science? Then go for engineering /medicine... i can always change after 12th na, if i don't get a good score ?
If this question was asked to me 6-7 years, I would have promptly given her a short lecture on 'if you do this, than these are the options....blah,blah and blah'.Nowadays, teenagers are much sauve,smarter and aware about what options they have. They are very clear about values which will help them decide careers.It is science/engnrr/MBA/CA = potentially higher paying professional degrees. Everything else becomes an option, if you don't succeed in above mentioned choices.So, when this kid asked me for 'advice' , I gauged she was really looking for affirmation.
Instead of directly answering her question/completely evading her question I decided to tell her about a person's career path- someone I knew personally and have highest regard for.
I told her about X...who was very hardworking and extremely dedicated toward his studies. Maybe didn't score high enough to enter M.B.B.S in 12th however completed B.Pharm as topper in his college, i think. He worked hard at his job as an executive in pharma co. and with sheer determination,smart work and by knowing how to manage his superiors and bosses he scaled promotions. X also went on to work in clinical research and soon gave his CAT.[ I personally think, returning to books after working professionally full time for 3-4 years requires immense aptitude and motivation] . He cleared CAT while working fulltime and staying alone in a city away from his parents and immediate family.
Not only that, he took up an Executive MBA program for 2 years from IIM-K, [i think distance learning] and completed it successfully while working fulltime.
The last i heard from him he was a Project Manager- clinical research [inspite, of placements in management] - most importantly doing something he liked.
He spent his energy,time, and of course money for himself and the great thing is -he has something to show for them.
Kudos to Mr X !
I have repeated this achievement to many people around my age who are frustrated by lack of options, their jobs or general rut of life but this is the first time i told a 15 year old. I hope she doesn't snort and bicker because i didn't tell her what she really wanted to hear and actually remember this example.
Saturday, 2 May 2009
Hmm....
There is always more misery among the lower classes than there is humanity in the higher.
- Victor Hugo
- Victor Hugo
Thursday, 30 April 2009
Have shoe ,will throw !
We seem to be fast developing into a shoe throwing nation. First Chidambaram and then Dr. Manmohan Singh .And i think its part of our culture. Now before, you throw a shoe at me let me explain why i think so. Examine following:
1. Chappal utha ke maroongi
2. Throwing a shoe/chappal at a chor/abuser who is running away when we fail to catch hold of him.
3. Chappals are favourite weapon to beat a woman- atleast that's what i've seen in jhopadpattis - of course after belts.
4 And bollywood movies where no argument on eve teasing is complete without the proverbial mention of 'sandal ki mar kahni hai ?'
We as a nation truly believe in the power of an humble shoe. The Iranian journalist did us a good turn and started a revolution because in India we genuinely believe our pedantic leaders and criminal leaders deserved to be booed away by throwing a shoe.
We are so frustrated and tired of trite offers,misuse of democracy and political leaders looting India and since we don't know what else to do we throw a shoe !
Come to think of it, its a sad situation ! Common Indian people have no other recourse to get themselves heard and noticed in their own land except by perhaps throwing a shoe !
1. Chappal utha ke maroongi
2. Throwing a shoe/chappal at a chor/abuser who is running away when we fail to catch hold of him.
3. Chappals are favourite weapon to beat a woman- atleast that's what i've seen in jhopadpattis - of course after belts.
4 And bollywood movies where no argument on eve teasing is complete without the proverbial mention of 'sandal ki mar kahni hai ?'
We as a nation truly believe in the power of an humble shoe. The Iranian journalist did us a good turn and started a revolution because in India we genuinely believe our pedantic leaders and criminal leaders deserved to be booed away by throwing a shoe.
We are so frustrated and tired of trite offers,misuse of democracy and political leaders looting India and since we don't know what else to do we throw a shoe !
Come to think of it, its a sad situation ! Common Indian people have no other recourse to get themselves heard and noticed in their own land except by perhaps throwing a shoe !
Saturday, 14 March 2009
The height of affairs !
I'm 5ft 8" tall middle class Indian girl.All the middle class [MD) 4 -5.3'' women gasp when they see me for the first time. They gasp because they still feel I'm a towering alien and because they firmly believe that tall towering Miss Indias' and Miss Universes' came from another planet and won the crowns for India.
And they probably gasp because they have to crane their necks to look up at me !
After nifty introductions the MD girls invariably and most infallibly sigh and grudgingly give me a compliment - 'You are so tall ,you are so lucky' or 'you have a nice height,han'. This has been going on throughout my life however its only now i've noticed this strange, similar pattern from women of all shapes ,sizes and ages. I like the snotty, rich ,posh girls who fall between 4-5ft.3" category who never seem to notice my height or comment at it. Instead,they just give me a grudging envious look !
Let me clarify, i didn't do anything for this tumultous ,towering gift.Its truly genetics and probably natural selection. Let me also add to all those sighing, short MD girls there are appreciable drawbacks of being an Indian towering MD girl.
And they probably gasp because they have to crane their necks to look up at me !
After nifty introductions the MD girls invariably and most infallibly sigh and grudgingly give me a compliment - 'You are so tall ,you are so lucky' or 'you have a nice height,han'. This has been going on throughout my life however its only now i've noticed this strange, similar pattern from women of all shapes ,sizes and ages. I like the snotty, rich ,posh girls who fall between 4-5ft.3" category who never seem to notice my height or comment at it. Instead,they just give me a grudging envious look !
Let me clarify, i didn't do anything for this tumultous ,towering gift.Its truly genetics and probably natural selection. Let me also add to all those sighing, short MD girls there are appreciable drawbacks of being an Indian towering MD girl.
- Yes, i could have become a model. Howeever, you must understand all tall girls don't want to be models just because they are 5ft 8" tall.
- Yeah, i do stand in the crowd.Yet, there are times when i don't want to stand in the crowd and there are times I would rather merge and hide within the horde.
- I get hit on the head invariably by things that hang from the low ceilings of most apartment flats in india. Believe me, I don't particularly thank god for making me tall during such incidents.
- I don't get to buy from Fashion street- rastey ka maal sastey main- because i don't get my size ,my length, my fit. So, i have to buy branded stuff to get even proper fitting shoes in India.Earlier, when India was not flooded with Pepe and reebok, i had to scrounge for school and daily wear shoes because most stuff in india is made for ladies who are not more than 5ft 4".
- I can't wear pumps, stilletos- especially if i have to stand besides a guy. The height of average Indian male is still between 5ft 4"-5ft 7".Now, its a different story that i don't bother and wear stilletos now.
- I still don't have a husband. That says it all.
- My knees get knocked and i'm uncomfortable in unspacious buses,trains, and economy airbus.
- I don't think ergonomic work spaces are built for tall people.
- I can't trade clothes with friends, sisters or even Mom.
- I can't get to choose the guy. I gotta have to choose a guy who is either of my height or taller than me. That reduces my odds considerably don't you think ?
Monday, 9 March 2009
Wheeler dealer
One tiny little thought is nagging me. The other day, over lunch, a pompous colleague of mine proudly said how everyone complained about her naughty son and how she unabashedly took it in her stride by stating how proud she was of her 'active' son.
The next statement took me by surprise. She proudly said how her toddler was no cry baby but a macho two year old who would beat the other kid and not come home sobbing.
Is the zeal of producing a competent,strong and fit future generation driving most indian parents- well, nuts ?
The next time a 11 year old pre-teen bludgeons his classmate to death- whom should we blame ?
Aren't pushy,bitchy and plain mean children product of mean ,ambitious and double faced parents ?
Are the tuition classes producing pickled minds?
Who will take the blame ?
The next statement took me by surprise. She proudly said how her toddler was no cry baby but a macho two year old who would beat the other kid and not come home sobbing.
Is the zeal of producing a competent,strong and fit future generation driving most indian parents- well, nuts ?
The next time a 11 year old pre-teen bludgeons his classmate to death- whom should we blame ?
Aren't pushy,bitchy and plain mean children product of mean ,ambitious and double faced parents ?
Are the tuition classes producing pickled minds?
Who will take the blame ?
Saturday, 28 February 2009
Chaddies et al
Last month , we witnessed a unique form of protest - sending pink lingerie to Ram Sena founders and followers. I stood confused as i gazed at perfectly good lingerie sent to their offices being broadcasted on the TV. The lacy one caught my eye and it looked like a branded chaddi' to me. Probably Victoria secret, i mused ! For a second, i forgot about the incident which caused this sensational news.
Now , i belong to the class who cannot afford Victoria's Secret.Come to think of it, even if i could , I'm far too sensible to buy myself preposterously costly lingerie.
So, there, i saw on the TV, a dump of perfectly good lingerie- sexy ,lacey lingerie. Now the question is, did the men feel even slightly appalled at the sight of sexy lingerie? Did they scramble to rethink the vitriolic way in which they tried to uphold indian traditions ?
Something makes me think- it made no difference to them at all !In fact, i have a sneaky suspicion that they got a chance to hold lingerie right upto their noses and fantasize !
What did they do in return? To uphold their egos and masochism, they sent sarees in gaudier pink !
What did the women achieve by this symbolic protest ? Nothing !
I think the time tested formula of sending bangles would have atleast made them sheepish !
I think it works ! Tell a man who beats and tortures woman-" Coward, here, wear my bangles. kyon bahot mard bantey firta hai- aurtau par haath uthata hai !
Now , i belong to the class who cannot afford Victoria's Secret.Come to think of it, even if i could , I'm far too sensible to buy myself preposterously costly lingerie.
So, there, i saw on the TV, a dump of perfectly good lingerie- sexy ,lacey lingerie. Now the question is, did the men feel even slightly appalled at the sight of sexy lingerie? Did they scramble to rethink the vitriolic way in which they tried to uphold indian traditions ?
Something makes me think- it made no difference to them at all !In fact, i have a sneaky suspicion that they got a chance to hold lingerie right upto their noses and fantasize !
What did they do in return? To uphold their egos and masochism, they sent sarees in gaudier pink !
What did the women achieve by this symbolic protest ? Nothing !
I think the time tested formula of sending bangles would have atleast made them sheepish !
I think it works ! Tell a man who beats and tortures woman-" Coward, here, wear my bangles. kyon bahot mard bantey firta hai- aurtau par haath uthata hai !
Monday, 26 January 2009
hmm
I've been thinking .Arranged marriage thing is not going well for me.From about last 5 years I see all of 3-4 guys per year all because I was above 24.In my community a girl gets married by 24 and guys at 25-27 average. Anyway, I'm quite put off by the kind of guys 'matchmaking aunties ' [henceforth referred to as MA] show me. My height- all of 5ft 8" and dusky complexion is also terribly off -putting to 5ft 5" to 5ft 8" guys. That is the average height of Indian male !
Even after giving into the thought process of 'adjustment' and 'bare minimum expectations', I've failed to find a husband.
So i was thinking of giving up on it. The MAs and relatives glare,sympathize and ask me to be 'adjusting' by turns ! Sometimes its hilarious at other times I'm the proverbial joker who is made fun of ,pitied and underestimated.
I know I'm not alone on this jockeyed ,hackneyed ride- hell, most of the well educated ,working/not working,'sabhya and pramanik' women are punished for being single at 30.
The last guy I saw asked me in 20 different ways if i was going to give up on being career minded and happily settle down to be a devoted wife only. And i kept telling him in 20 different ways how i liked to be my own person and I quite could work for my satisfaction and be a devoted wife and mother.
Another guy wanted educated smart,english speaking [read: a girl like me] trophy wife who would willingly stay at home. He was 10th pass ! I have zillion gems like these about the guys from my community.They are blissfully esconced in their world however shamelessly want to tear the girl away from everything that she loves !
Many a times I was tempted to tell them exactly what i was thinking however i refrained as due respect for my parents.
The only option before me is to become sexily schizophrenic or unabashedly manipulative. I lack mental wiring for either !
Even after giving into the thought process of 'adjustment' and 'bare minimum expectations', I've failed to find a husband.
So i was thinking of giving up on it. The MAs and relatives glare,sympathize and ask me to be 'adjusting' by turns ! Sometimes its hilarious at other times I'm the proverbial joker who is made fun of ,pitied and underestimated.
I know I'm not alone on this jockeyed ,hackneyed ride- hell, most of the well educated ,working/not working,'sabhya and pramanik' women are punished for being single at 30.
The last guy I saw asked me in 20 different ways if i was going to give up on being career minded and happily settle down to be a devoted wife only. And i kept telling him in 20 different ways how i liked to be my own person and I quite could work for my satisfaction and be a devoted wife and mother.
Another guy wanted educated smart,english speaking [read: a girl like me] trophy wife who would willingly stay at home. He was 10th pass ! I have zillion gems like these about the guys from my community.They are blissfully esconced in their world however shamelessly want to tear the girl away from everything that she loves !
Many a times I was tempted to tell them exactly what i was thinking however i refrained as due respect for my parents.
The only option before me is to become sexily schizophrenic or unabashedly manipulative. I lack mental wiring for either !
Saturday, 24 January 2009
Emosanal Atyachar
Tauba mere jalwe tauba mera pyar, paar chada tha mere emosanal atyachar ! I know this song is dedciated to the senti devdass' of the world but it is also for likes of me: emosanal,senti girl.
Senti hoti hoon toh itna key climate change ho jaati- mere charon taraf ka climate !Senti ke aage hai 'mental'- kuch jyaada hi chance ho jaate hai mere mental honey ka ! Aajkal'rah -sha nal' aur 'prahc-ti cal' honey ke liye training ley rahi hoon. Lekin doubtful hai ! Meri wiring main hi kuch gadbad hai !
Anyway doondh nikala yeh lyrics ko - kya song hai !
Yeh Dil Pighla Ke Saaz Bana Loon
Dhadkan Ko Awaz Bana Loon
Smoking Smoking Nikle Re Dhooan
Seene Mein Jalti Hai Armanon Ki Arthi
Arrey What To Tell You Darling Kya Hua
Arrey Sapne Dekhe Jannat Ke
Par Mitti Mein Mil Jaen
Phooken Re Ghar Baar Ki Duniya
Ko Bole Good Bye
Chad Jae Haye Allah
Jisko Bhi Yeh Bukhaar
Tauba Tera Jalwa, Tauba Tera Pyar
Tera Emosanal Attyachaar!
Tauba Tera Jalwa, Tauba Tera Pyar
Tera Emosanal Attyachaar!
Jao Jao Oh Dilbar, Oh Dilbar Ohh!
Tauba Tera Jalwa, Tauba Tera Pyar
Tera Emosanal Attyachaar!
Ho Gai Dil Ke Paar Tragedy Tragedy
Lut Gai Re Bahaar, Gul Sukh Sukh Murjhae
Ho Gai Dil Ke Paar Tragedy Tragedy
Lut Gai Re Bahaar, Gul Sukh Sukh Murjhae
Bol Bol Why Did You Ditch Me
Zindagi Bhi Lele Yaar Kill Me
Bol Bol Why Did You Ditch Me Whore
Bol Bol Why Did You Ditch Me
Zindagi Bhi Lele Yaar Kill Me
Jao Pia Jao Pia Jao Pia
Tauba Tera Jalwa, Tauba Tera Pyar
Tera Emosanal Attyachaar!
Tauba Tera Jalwa, Tauba Tera Pyar
Tera Emosanal Attyachaar!
Jao Jao Oh Dilbar, Oh Dilbar Ohh!
Tauba Tera Jalwa, Tauba Tera Pyar
Tera Emosanal Attyachaar!
(Tera Emosanal Attyachaar!) -
P.S: Courtesy : http://www.hindilyrix.com
Senti hoti hoon toh itna key climate change ho jaati- mere charon taraf ka climate !Senti ke aage hai 'mental'- kuch jyaada hi chance ho jaate hai mere mental honey ka ! Aajkal'rah -sha nal' aur 'prahc-ti cal' honey ke liye training ley rahi hoon. Lekin doubtful hai ! Meri wiring main hi kuch gadbad hai !
Anyway doondh nikala yeh lyrics ko - kya song hai !
Yeh Dil Pighla Ke Saaz Bana Loon
Dhadkan Ko Awaz Bana Loon
Smoking Smoking Nikle Re Dhooan
Seene Mein Jalti Hai Armanon Ki Arthi
Arrey What To Tell You Darling Kya Hua
Arrey Sapne Dekhe Jannat Ke
Par Mitti Mein Mil Jaen
Phooken Re Ghar Baar Ki Duniya
Ko Bole Good Bye
Chad Jae Haye Allah
Jisko Bhi Yeh Bukhaar
Tauba Tera Jalwa, Tauba Tera Pyar
Tera Emosanal Attyachaar!
Tauba Tera Jalwa, Tauba Tera Pyar
Tera Emosanal Attyachaar!
Jao Jao Oh Dilbar, Oh Dilbar Ohh!
Tauba Tera Jalwa, Tauba Tera Pyar
Tera Emosanal Attyachaar!
Ho Gai Dil Ke Paar Tragedy Tragedy
Lut Gai Re Bahaar, Gul Sukh Sukh Murjhae
Ho Gai Dil Ke Paar Tragedy Tragedy
Lut Gai Re Bahaar, Gul Sukh Sukh Murjhae
Bol Bol Why Did You Ditch Me
Zindagi Bhi Lele Yaar Kill Me
Bol Bol Why Did You Ditch Me Whore
Bol Bol Why Did You Ditch Me
Zindagi Bhi Lele Yaar Kill Me
Jao Pia Jao Pia Jao Pia
Tauba Tera Jalwa, Tauba Tera Pyar
Tera Emosanal Attyachaar!
Tauba Tera Jalwa, Tauba Tera Pyar
Tera Emosanal Attyachaar!
Jao Jao Oh Dilbar, Oh Dilbar Ohh!
Tauba Tera Jalwa, Tauba Tera Pyar
Tera Emosanal Attyachaar!
(Tera Emosanal Attyachaar!) -
P.S: Courtesy : http://www.hindilyrix.com
Thursday, 22 January 2009
Gharonda
Once again today that topic came and stood in front of me. My father had casually inquired of a broker about a flat in heart of cantonment- Pune camp where muslims,hindus, parsis and christians stay together and head towards one and the only Kayani bakery.Yes, in the same 'cosmopolitan' Camp,those building residents didn't want the flat to be sold to a Muslim.
Now ,I wish i could say this is the direct fallout of 'bad bad terrorist Muslims' but it isn't. Whenever i visited the old Pune city ,all i could see is Maharashtrians[Indian Hindus} in majority - the Peths[barring a couple},the new Pune areas like Kothrud [the earliest fastest developing suburb} and newer suburbs like Aundh,Baner and hitherto areas.
Me, the eternal dumbo thought that it was because new people did not settle in these areas because they were already densely populated.
Many people whispered that Hindus don't give houses to Muslims but i did not believe it.
I faced it first hand when i took up a job in Powai and poor me couldn't get a rented flat because i was Muslim . I could not even camouflage myself or my name to get accommodation. It was right there. i had to leave the job because i didn't get a place to live and because i didn't want to live like a rat in some hole in Mumbai. The point is i didn't get a place to live which i liked just because i am 'so and so'
Now that officially as democratic secular Indians we already follow this caste bias system, i propose we legislate it. Put up a bill in Parliament where politicians can debate till hoary and then declare that Hindus will not rent/sell flats/property to Muslims. We have been following this practice already since time immemorial, if it is legislated Muslims can stand together and proclaim that Indian Muslims will not sell/rent to Indian hindus and neither buy from them .Buy/hire from parsis, Christians,Atheists but not Indian Hindus.
If its legislated then I as an Indian Muslim will not feel discriminated and i also get a licence to discriminate. As you may have noticed I've addressed my fellow Indians as Indian Hindus- well, that's because I feel its as appropriate as say 'Indian Muslims'.
Ring Ring Ringa Ringa Ringa Re
Now ,I wish i could say this is the direct fallout of 'bad bad terrorist Muslims' but it isn't. Whenever i visited the old Pune city ,all i could see is Maharashtrians[Indian Hindus} in majority - the Peths[barring a couple},the new Pune areas like Kothrud [the earliest fastest developing suburb} and newer suburbs like Aundh,Baner and hitherto areas.
Me, the eternal dumbo thought that it was because new people did not settle in these areas because they were already densely populated.
Many people whispered that Hindus don't give houses to Muslims but i did not believe it.
I faced it first hand when i took up a job in Powai and poor me couldn't get a rented flat because i was Muslim . I could not even camouflage myself or my name to get accommodation. It was right there. i had to leave the job because i didn't get a place to live and because i didn't want to live like a rat in some hole in Mumbai. The point is i didn't get a place to live which i liked just because i am 'so and so'
Now that officially as democratic secular Indians we already follow this caste bias system, i propose we legislate it. Put up a bill in Parliament where politicians can debate till hoary and then declare that Hindus will not rent/sell flats/property to Muslims. We have been following this practice already since time immemorial, if it is legislated Muslims can stand together and proclaim that Indian Muslims will not sell/rent to Indian hindus and neither buy from them .Buy/hire from parsis, Christians,Atheists but not Indian Hindus.
If its legislated then I as an Indian Muslim will not feel discriminated and i also get a licence to discriminate. As you may have noticed I've addressed my fellow Indians as Indian Hindus- well, that's because I feel its as appropriate as say 'Indian Muslims'.
Ring Ring Ringa Ringa Ringa Re
Wednesday, 21 January 2009
Cheshire Cat
I read Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll when I was all grown up and after I came to know that it was touted as an example in logical reasoning and analytical thinking.
Apart from its lyrical prose , i love all the characters and my favorite is Cheshire cat. I don't like cats but this one i love since its personified human. What can be more human then a grinning charming Cheshire cat with a wit to match .It reminds me of eternal charming villain who is hidden within a cloak of charm and an halting wide smile.
Here's and excerpt which is symbolic ,metaphorical and my favorite.
I quote:
'Cheshire Puss,' she began, rather timidly, as she did not at all know whether it would like the name: however, it only grinned a little wider. 'Come, it's pleased so far,' thought Alice, and she went on. 'Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?'
'That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,' said the Cat.
'I don't much care where--' said Alice.
'Then it doesn't matter which way you go,' said the Cat.
'--so long as I get somewhere,' Alice added as an explanation.
'Oh, you're sure to do that,' said the Cat, 'if you only walk long enough.'
Alice felt that this could not be denied, so she tried another question. 'What sort of people live about here?'
'In that direction,' the Cat said, waving its right paw round, 'lives a Hatter: and in that direction,' waving the other paw, 'lives a March Hare. Visit either you like: they're both mad.'
'But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
'Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: 'we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'
'How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
'You must be,' said the Cat, 'or you wouldn't have come here.'
Apart from its lyrical prose , i love all the characters and my favorite is Cheshire cat. I don't like cats but this one i love since its personified human. What can be more human then a grinning charming Cheshire cat with a wit to match .It reminds me of eternal charming villain who is hidden within a cloak of charm and an halting wide smile.
Here's and excerpt which is symbolic ,metaphorical and my favorite.
I quote:
'Cheshire Puss,' she began, rather timidly, as she did not at all know whether it would like the name: however, it only grinned a little wider. 'Come, it's pleased so far,' thought Alice, and she went on. 'Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?'
'That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,' said the Cat.
'I don't much care where--' said Alice.
'Then it doesn't matter which way you go,' said the Cat.
'--so long as I get somewhere,' Alice added as an explanation.
'Oh, you're sure to do that,' said the Cat, 'if you only walk long enough.'
Alice felt that this could not be denied, so she tried another question. 'What sort of people live about here?'
'In that direction,' the Cat said, waving its right paw round, 'lives a Hatter: and in that direction,' waving the other paw, 'lives a March Hare. Visit either you like: they're both mad.'
'But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.
'Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: 'we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'
'How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.
'You must be,' said the Cat, 'or you wouldn't have come here.'
Monday, 19 January 2009
Catching up
I recently caught up with a school friend who is all grown up with one toddler and a seven month old. To be outright she's not very good at keeping touch which is absolutely fine except that when i met her after so many years she invaded my privacy with very intimate profiling on why I was still not married.
Let me state , I'm not unmarried by choice and i'm growing tired of my relatives and friends trying to openly or surreptitiously probe my single status.Give me a break- I'm still young !
Anyway, i went to meet her out of nostalgia.I was happy to see her parents who i had not seen in last 13yrs or so. Everything was fine for the first 15 mins with pleasantries exchanged and nostalgia revisited. Then, her parents commented on my choice of study- Microbiology, stating it was no good and implying that's why i was unemployed. I tried to wedge in saying it is true .In my mind however I thought that's firmly in the past. Everyone cannot be engineers and certainly everyone doesn't want to be one !
Then they commented on how i looked plumper than before . I was quite ok with that observation. However her father firmly stated that 'don't be fatter than this otherwise getting a guy will be difficult ! And then added: 'Do you go for walks?'
i didn't know what to do except nod stupidly and trying to laugh it off.
The next missive came when my friend sympathized with my inability to have found a husband and consoled me saying that it was ok ,I'd soon find a guy !
Then she told me how her mother compared her with me saying I was so pretty and such a fantastic girl that i should have gotten married earlier than her [my friend].
A whole one hour passed : me trying to maintain my composure and playing with the toddler. The final straw came when her husband called form Dhoobai (Dubai). He's gone there to make petro dollars like most Mallus ! My friend to sound helpful and concerned immediately asked her husband to look for some Bohri Muslims in Dhoobai for me.
I took their leave and ambled home. I didn't know how to look at this particular meeting . i found it extremely funny at first then it dawned to me that the whole meeting was probably an exercise in pity and to examine me. I guess , i felt this way mainly because i was meeting my friend after 6 years and had lost touch in between those years. There was no connection. Or the connection would have been restored gradually however certainly not at the very first meeting. The fact is we were different people than say ten years ago so probing which i'm told is 'uniquely indian' was disenchanting.
Let me state , I'm not unmarried by choice and i'm growing tired of my relatives and friends trying to openly or surreptitiously probe my single status.Give me a break- I'm still young !
Anyway, i went to meet her out of nostalgia.I was happy to see her parents who i had not seen in last 13yrs or so. Everything was fine for the first 15 mins with pleasantries exchanged and nostalgia revisited. Then, her parents commented on my choice of study- Microbiology, stating it was no good and implying that's why i was unemployed. I tried to wedge in saying it is true .In my mind however I thought that's firmly in the past. Everyone cannot be engineers and certainly everyone doesn't want to be one !
Then they commented on how i looked plumper than before . I was quite ok with that observation. However her father firmly stated that 'don't be fatter than this otherwise getting a guy will be difficult ! And then added: 'Do you go for walks?'
i didn't know what to do except nod stupidly and trying to laugh it off.
The next missive came when my friend sympathized with my inability to have found a husband and consoled me saying that it was ok ,I'd soon find a guy !
Then she told me how her mother compared her with me saying I was so pretty and such a fantastic girl that i should have gotten married earlier than her [my friend].
A whole one hour passed : me trying to maintain my composure and playing with the toddler. The final straw came when her husband called form Dhoobai (Dubai). He's gone there to make petro dollars like most Mallus ! My friend to sound helpful and concerned immediately asked her husband to look for some Bohri Muslims in Dhoobai for me.
I took their leave and ambled home. I didn't know how to look at this particular meeting . i found it extremely funny at first then it dawned to me that the whole meeting was probably an exercise in pity and to examine me. I guess , i felt this way mainly because i was meeting my friend after 6 years and had lost touch in between those years. There was no connection. Or the connection would have been restored gradually however certainly not at the very first meeting. The fact is we were different people than say ten years ago so probing which i'm told is 'uniquely indian' was disenchanting.
Ali and Sarah
I've gotten used to traveling alone. When i was a kid, I used to love traveling by train . Not anymore. The burgeoning crowds everywhere gets to me.Everywhere I turn and look around there seem to be zillion faces passing by and I seem to be literally dashing somebody or the other while i drag my luggage. My train to Bangalore stood there in an ominous line of blue. For the first time, I was travelling by AC coach. No big deal ,except , its middle of a pretty cold December ! I found my compartment and settled into my window seat. It was around 3pm and in few minutes the train would leave. I shivered while peering drowsily out of the glass covered window. Bored, I looked around and examined my fellow passengers .There was only a very old couple opposite to me,sitting cross legged and speaking a strange language.
The train is pretty empty , I mused. In India, there are very very rare days when you could find a train running relatively empty and the reason for an uncrowded train are usually dark and ominous .I racked my brain for one such reason, however none dawned to me !
Suddenly, I felt a pair of eyes looking at me .A tall broad shouldered man peered at me through his glasses while he removed the haversack from his shoulders. He slid his sack below the seat and sat down next to me unbuttoning his suede coat.
“ Gosh,..Made it”,he said ,apparently to me while I stared blankly at him for a second or two. The train slowly started to pull out of the station.
“Good ! The train is literally empty”, He exclaimed ,looking around satisfactorily .
I turned away however it began to dawn to me that he was no stranger. In fact, he seemed familiar. Nevertheless , I ignored him while he shuffled in his seat ,removing a magazine from his satchel ,cleared his throat loudly.
“Where are you of to ?”
I turned towards him and asked ,”I beg your pardon !”
He gave me an impish smile and repeated” Where are you going?”
“Bangalore”, I replied.
“Oh great ! Me too”, he gushed warmly.
I tried to smile weakly at his response.Cautiously, I asked,”Do we know each other ?”
He stared at me for a moment and pursed his lips." Ah, you don't remember me ? No problem, ...well, I had hoped you would but since you don't,.....my name is Ali. I had come to your place exactly 2 years ago with an aunty who does matchmaking,- umm.., I've forgotten her name.I had come to see you and you refused me !
He said all that in a single breath,taking me totally by surprise. I felt colour rising to my cheeks while i jogged my memory. I looked around, hoping no one had heard him since we were talking in English.
Screwing my eyes, I looked at him and then I remembered him. It was weird. Almost immediately, I began to remember the sober meeting. It was the usual meeting which happens in arranged marriages. I didn't remember the details but I remembered why i had refused him.Usually,I forget names,phone numbers, birthdays,errands but remember faces,incidents - both happy and tragic very clearly, especially if reminded about them.
The train was well on its way. He looked at me again and asked,”By the way, I am going to Bangalore to speak about my invention. I made a contraption. Do you remember ? I'm a mechanical engineer.
I smiled weakly at him and mumbled,”Sounds interesting !”
He removed India Today from his satchel and turned the pages rapidly. After a sketchy perusal , he looked at me and asked.” How about you ? Why are you going to Bangalore?”
I didn't wish to speak to him anymore. I secretly wished I could disappear. Twenty two hours of train journey with him next to me scared me out of my wits. I put on my best 'serious cum unfriendly ' face and answered,” A trip. My sister lives there".
He nodded his head and fumbled through the magazine as if trying to formulate his thoughts.
“By the way, why did you refuse ?”
It was a shocker.I consider myself a straightforward person but asking such a question point blank after two years is something even I wouldn't do.I put up a straight face and turned to gaze at the passing farms and green fields.
“ I'm just asking”,he shrugged his shoulders and continued,” in these kinds of marriage meets,no one gives any reason.you know,..the reasons which accompany a no is really bullshit.”
I looked at him and said,”I know.. all the same ,how does it matter ?”
His dark brown eyes bored through his glasses at me and cried,” Arrey! How come it doesn't matter? After I met you, I started making plans. ... I never had made those kinds of plans earlier. I mean, i hadn't met any girl which forced me to make plans. In my head, you know.”
By now I had gotten used to the fact that there was no escaping this man and this steady one sided conversation. I'd probably have to jump out of the moving train and I think he might probably jump after me to seek his answers.
I looked at him. He hadn't really changed much. I had put on weight while he was still dark,curly haired,with pointedly prominent nose and white teeth.He was the only guy I had seen who was same age as me and taller than me.
I felt a sudden wave of anger rising within me.How did he dare to get so comfortable to ask me to clarify my refusal.
“Plans !”, I shrieked,”what do you mean by 'plans'?
“ You know, the same as any other guy.”
“Huh,”..I exclaimed ,taken totally by surprise,” You know, this is the reason. You are weird.Incomprehensibly weird ! Since you remember so much, you might also remember how you barely talked and just kept looking at me through out that 15 minute meeting.You expected me to say yes ? ...besides you were a divorcee .I had decided i wouldn't meet divorcees till I was 30 and above.
He looked at me ,unabashedly, raising his eyebrows and throwing up his hands.
“That's it ! That's why you said no ?...seriously, what did you want me to do ? I don't talk with girls much especially if i have gone to see them for marriage, you know. I don't have many girls in my company's factory unit. I didn't lie........hmm.umm......I'm talking right now because its just you and me here and come to think of it this is our second meeting.”
I was ready to pull out my hair. Instead, I stared out of the window and contemplated ways in which i can shut him up.
“And as far as my divorce is concerned, I had told you, na,....I had married when i was 25 .I barely knew her.Within a week, we both realized it was a ghastly mistake....to tell you the truth ,”his voice turned into a whisper and his face came closer ,literally touching my nose,”You know...umm we didn't ,.....you know,...not even close.We got divorced within a month.I made the mistake of listening to my mum.I never made that mistake again. I've taken it upon myself to find the girl I like,you know. I also realized that i'd feel 'in my bones' ,you know, if i like anyone.I hope you understand what i am saying.”
“Frankly, I don't give a damn”, I said in Rhett Butlerish style and pushed him away.
He picked up the magazine and shifted a bit further down the seat,away from me.
He removed an Ipod from his satchel and plugged the earphones to his ears.For some time ,there was appreciable silence. I looked at the old couple across us ,both immersed in reading newspapers.
Day turned into dusk and as the sun set, pheriwalas increased in number. The catering staff came around to take orders for dinner. I seem to always puke at the sight of food served in such trains so as a regular indian i had packed my dinner.
After 20 minutes or so, Ali removed his earphones and stuffed them in his pocket. I had cooled down and felt bad about being so dismissive and unnerved. I could have tackled his unjudicious chatter more calmly.Instead, I over reacted ,quite unnecessarily.
He offered me a chocolate bar and I hesitantly took it. I removed the wrapping little by little as i ate while he tore the wrapping completely and finished the chocolate in two bites.
“Do you have a tissue? “ he asked ,examining his fingers. I threw the small tissue box at him.
“You know, you are a smart and intelligent girl.You are pretty too. But you are not sensible !“
I understood what he meant by it.If he had said it 5 years ago, I'd have probably choked him to death.He looked at me, unsure of my reaction.
“I know”, I simply added to his silent observation of me, then glared at him ”and you are still looking me up – up and down !”
Startled, to mollify me, he added ,”Its ok to not be sensible all the time.After all, who is ?"
He sat cross legged on the seat to face me and he asked suspiciously,”Have you been terribly hurt or you are normally grouchy ?"
It was my turn to be startled. I avoided his gaze and stared straight to the berth opposite to me.
“I was. Is it obvious?"
“No, no you hide it very well.Except the eyes ,.....you know. They tend to give one away !"
"The world would be an enlightened place if people could decode eyes ”, I murmured sarcastically.
“True, true!” he smiled .
“The plans,...after meeting you, I had made up my mind, you know, ......I've broad shoulders and you cry a lot and very easily because you are sensitive. I had made plans to keep you happy and away from hurtful stuff . I had thought,........we would have made a great partnership, ...and besides i wondered how it would be to make love to you !"
I threw the styrofoam cup with water at him.
------------------------------
Needless to say , till we retired to sleep we didn't argue . We exchanged news and views and what had changed in our lives .He told me about his extended family and that his mom was no more.He talked about his work and how he invented things in his free time.His life was ,as I had imagined, predictable and boring except that he made new things in his free time.The last movie he had seen in the theater was American Beauty and he pretty much shopped for his clothes from one store in whole of Pune.
By the next morning, we were more or less friends. The train was estimated to reach Bangalore at noon. We ate idlis and vadas at a station, mostly because i like idlis .As for him,he embarked on a tour of the platform for a decent egg omellette and when he didn't find any- settled for a vada grudgingly.
When the train screeched to a halt at the station in Bangalore, he threw his hands in the air and said,
“Ok, here we are ! Your sister is coming to pick you up ?”
“Yeah” I replied ,counting my bags,” here is your magazine."
“Oh yeah,thanks..by the way,I'm put up at Leela ,..I'll probably fly back if i get the tickets.”
“Ok, ...there,..... best of luck ,”I said smiling at him and shaking his proffered hand.
“Thank you , Sarah .”
Quietly, we got down from the train and stood on the platform. My sister had not arrived as yet so i stood waiting for her.
He pulled up the haversack on his shoulders and said,” Here is your tissue box. It has only a single tissue”, he said pointedly.
“No problem”, I replied.
He looked at me for a minute and then said,” Didn't you think it was too much of a co-incidence that we had seats next to each other?”
“As a matter of fact , I did."
“ I'm glad that seat didn't belong to anyone else....well...it so happened that I saw you at the platform near AC2 in pune. I called out to you but you didn't hear me. So I ran after you, and scrambled in the seat next to you,” he beamed at me, with smiling cheek to cheek. He hesitantly picked up his suitcase and wished me goodbye.”Bye ,Sarah”
“Bye Ali”.
As he walked away, I looked at his departing figure."Weirdo”,I muttered to myself.
I examined the empty tissue box and removed the lone tissue and threw away the box. As i opened the tissue to wipe my face , I spied a 10 digit number scrawled across it in bold dark ink. I stared at the phone number and laughed till tears struck my eyes. The only thought that crossed my mind was : Will he find my number in the magazine as easily as i had found his ? After all, I could have easily thrown off the tissue box without as much a second glance at the tissue.
x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x
The train is pretty empty , I mused. In India, there are very very rare days when you could find a train running relatively empty and the reason for an uncrowded train are usually dark and ominous .I racked my brain for one such reason, however none dawned to me !
Suddenly, I felt a pair of eyes looking at me .A tall broad shouldered man peered at me through his glasses while he removed the haversack from his shoulders. He slid his sack below the seat and sat down next to me unbuttoning his suede coat.
“ Gosh,..Made it”,he said ,apparently to me while I stared blankly at him for a second or two. The train slowly started to pull out of the station.
“Good ! The train is literally empty”, He exclaimed ,looking around satisfactorily .
I turned away however it began to dawn to me that he was no stranger. In fact, he seemed familiar. Nevertheless , I ignored him while he shuffled in his seat ,removing a magazine from his satchel ,cleared his throat loudly.
“Where are you of to ?”
I turned towards him and asked ,”I beg your pardon !”
He gave me an impish smile and repeated” Where are you going?”
“Bangalore”, I replied.
“Oh great ! Me too”, he gushed warmly.
I tried to smile weakly at his response.Cautiously, I asked,”Do we know each other ?”
He stared at me for a moment and pursed his lips." Ah, you don't remember me ? No problem, ...well, I had hoped you would but since you don't,.....my name is Ali. I had come to your place exactly 2 years ago with an aunty who does matchmaking,- umm.., I've forgotten her name.I had come to see you and you refused me !
He said all that in a single breath,taking me totally by surprise. I felt colour rising to my cheeks while i jogged my memory. I looked around, hoping no one had heard him since we were talking in English.
Screwing my eyes, I looked at him and then I remembered him. It was weird. Almost immediately, I began to remember the sober meeting. It was the usual meeting which happens in arranged marriages. I didn't remember the details but I remembered why i had refused him.Usually,I forget names,phone numbers, birthdays,errands but remember faces,incidents - both happy and tragic very clearly, especially if reminded about them.
The train was well on its way. He looked at me again and asked,”By the way, I am going to Bangalore to speak about my invention. I made a contraption. Do you remember ? I'm a mechanical engineer.
I smiled weakly at him and mumbled,”Sounds interesting !”
He removed India Today from his satchel and turned the pages rapidly. After a sketchy perusal , he looked at me and asked.” How about you ? Why are you going to Bangalore?”
I didn't wish to speak to him anymore. I secretly wished I could disappear. Twenty two hours of train journey with him next to me scared me out of my wits. I put on my best 'serious cum unfriendly ' face and answered,” A trip. My sister lives there".
He nodded his head and fumbled through the magazine as if trying to formulate his thoughts.
“By the way, why did you refuse ?”
It was a shocker.I consider myself a straightforward person but asking such a question point blank after two years is something even I wouldn't do.I put up a straight face and turned to gaze at the passing farms and green fields.
“ I'm just asking”,he shrugged his shoulders and continued,” in these kinds of marriage meets,no one gives any reason.you know,..the reasons which accompany a no is really bullshit.”
I looked at him and said,”I know.. all the same ,how does it matter ?”
His dark brown eyes bored through his glasses at me and cried,” Arrey! How come it doesn't matter? After I met you, I started making plans. ... I never had made those kinds of plans earlier. I mean, i hadn't met any girl which forced me to make plans. In my head, you know.”
By now I had gotten used to the fact that there was no escaping this man and this steady one sided conversation. I'd probably have to jump out of the moving train and I think he might probably jump after me to seek his answers.
I looked at him. He hadn't really changed much. I had put on weight while he was still dark,curly haired,with pointedly prominent nose and white teeth.He was the only guy I had seen who was same age as me and taller than me.
I felt a sudden wave of anger rising within me.How did he dare to get so comfortable to ask me to clarify my refusal.
“Plans !”, I shrieked,”what do you mean by 'plans'?
“ You know, the same as any other guy.”
“Huh,”..I exclaimed ,taken totally by surprise,” You know, this is the reason. You are weird.Incomprehensibly weird ! Since you remember so much, you might also remember how you barely talked and just kept looking at me through out that 15 minute meeting.You expected me to say yes ? ...besides you were a divorcee .I had decided i wouldn't meet divorcees till I was 30 and above.
He looked at me ,unabashedly, raising his eyebrows and throwing up his hands.
“That's it ! That's why you said no ?...seriously, what did you want me to do ? I don't talk with girls much especially if i have gone to see them for marriage, you know. I don't have many girls in my company's factory unit. I didn't lie........hmm.umm......I'm talking right now because its just you and me here and come to think of it this is our second meeting.”
I was ready to pull out my hair. Instead, I stared out of the window and contemplated ways in which i can shut him up.
“And as far as my divorce is concerned, I had told you, na,....I had married when i was 25 .I barely knew her.Within a week, we both realized it was a ghastly mistake....to tell you the truth ,”his voice turned into a whisper and his face came closer ,literally touching my nose,”You know...umm we didn't ,.....you know,...not even close.We got divorced within a month.I made the mistake of listening to my mum.I never made that mistake again. I've taken it upon myself to find the girl I like,you know. I also realized that i'd feel 'in my bones' ,you know, if i like anyone.I hope you understand what i am saying.”
“Frankly, I don't give a damn”, I said in Rhett Butlerish style and pushed him away.
He picked up the magazine and shifted a bit further down the seat,away from me.
He removed an Ipod from his satchel and plugged the earphones to his ears.For some time ,there was appreciable silence. I looked at the old couple across us ,both immersed in reading newspapers.
Day turned into dusk and as the sun set, pheriwalas increased in number. The catering staff came around to take orders for dinner. I seem to always puke at the sight of food served in such trains so as a regular indian i had packed my dinner.
After 20 minutes or so, Ali removed his earphones and stuffed them in his pocket. I had cooled down and felt bad about being so dismissive and unnerved. I could have tackled his unjudicious chatter more calmly.Instead, I over reacted ,quite unnecessarily.
He offered me a chocolate bar and I hesitantly took it. I removed the wrapping little by little as i ate while he tore the wrapping completely and finished the chocolate in two bites.
“Do you have a tissue? “ he asked ,examining his fingers. I threw the small tissue box at him.
“You know, you are a smart and intelligent girl.You are pretty too. But you are not sensible !“
I understood what he meant by it.If he had said it 5 years ago, I'd have probably choked him to death.He looked at me, unsure of my reaction.
“I know”, I simply added to his silent observation of me, then glared at him ”and you are still looking me up – up and down !”
Startled, to mollify me, he added ,”Its ok to not be sensible all the time.After all, who is ?"
He sat cross legged on the seat to face me and he asked suspiciously,”Have you been terribly hurt or you are normally grouchy ?"
It was my turn to be startled. I avoided his gaze and stared straight to the berth opposite to me.
“I was. Is it obvious?"
“No, no you hide it very well.Except the eyes ,.....you know. They tend to give one away !"
"The world would be an enlightened place if people could decode eyes ”, I murmured sarcastically.
“True, true!” he smiled .
“The plans,...after meeting you, I had made up my mind, you know, ......I've broad shoulders and you cry a lot and very easily because you are sensitive. I had made plans to keep you happy and away from hurtful stuff . I had thought,........we would have made a great partnership, ...and besides i wondered how it would be to make love to you !"
I threw the styrofoam cup with water at him.
------------------------------
Needless to say , till we retired to sleep we didn't argue . We exchanged news and views and what had changed in our lives .He told me about his extended family and that his mom was no more.He talked about his work and how he invented things in his free time.His life was ,as I had imagined, predictable and boring except that he made new things in his free time.The last movie he had seen in the theater was American Beauty and he pretty much shopped for his clothes from one store in whole of Pune.
By the next morning, we were more or less friends. The train was estimated to reach Bangalore at noon. We ate idlis and vadas at a station, mostly because i like idlis .As for him,he embarked on a tour of the platform for a decent egg omellette and when he didn't find any- settled for a vada grudgingly.
When the train screeched to a halt at the station in Bangalore, he threw his hands in the air and said,
“Ok, here we are ! Your sister is coming to pick you up ?”
“Yeah” I replied ,counting my bags,” here is your magazine."
“Oh yeah,thanks..by the way,I'm put up at Leela ,..I'll probably fly back if i get the tickets.”
“Ok, ...there,..... best of luck ,”I said smiling at him and shaking his proffered hand.
“Thank you , Sarah .”
Quietly, we got down from the train and stood on the platform. My sister had not arrived as yet so i stood waiting for her.
He pulled up the haversack on his shoulders and said,” Here is your tissue box. It has only a single tissue”, he said pointedly.
“No problem”, I replied.
He looked at me for a minute and then said,” Didn't you think it was too much of a co-incidence that we had seats next to each other?”
“As a matter of fact , I did."
“ I'm glad that seat didn't belong to anyone else....well...it so happened that I saw you at the platform near AC2 in pune. I called out to you but you didn't hear me. So I ran after you, and scrambled in the seat next to you,” he beamed at me, with smiling cheek to cheek. He hesitantly picked up his suitcase and wished me goodbye.”Bye ,Sarah”
“Bye Ali”.
As he walked away, I looked at his departing figure."Weirdo”,I muttered to myself.
I examined the empty tissue box and removed the lone tissue and threw away the box. As i opened the tissue to wipe my face , I spied a 10 digit number scrawled across it in bold dark ink. I stared at the phone number and laughed till tears struck my eyes. The only thought that crossed my mind was : Will he find my number in the magazine as easily as i had found his ? After all, I could have easily thrown off the tissue box without as much a second glance at the tissue.
x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x
Saturday, 17 January 2009
Qaasid ke aatey aatey
Qaasid ke aate-aate KHat ik aur likh rakhooN maiN jaanta hooN jo woh likhenge jawaab meiN
kab se hooN, kya bataaooN jahaan-e-KHaraab meiN ? shab haaye hijr ko bhee rakhooN gar hisaab meiN
taa fir na intezaar meiN neeNd aaye 'umr bhar aane ka 'ahad kar gaye aaye jo KHwaab meiN
mujh tak kab unkee bazm meiN aata tha daur-e-jaam saaqee ne kuchch mila na diya ho sharaab meiN
GHalib' chutee sharaab, par ab bhee kabhee-kabhee peeta hooN roz-e-abr -o- shab-e-maahtaab meiN
kab se hooN, kya bataaooN jahaan-e-KHaraab meiN , shab haaye hijr ko bhee rakhooN gar hisaab mein
- Mirza Ghalib
{ My apologies for not writing this in Urdu/Persian script as I don't know them}
kab se hooN, kya bataaooN jahaan-e-KHaraab meiN ? shab haaye hijr ko bhee rakhooN gar hisaab meiN
taa fir na intezaar meiN neeNd aaye 'umr bhar aane ka 'ahad kar gaye aaye jo KHwaab meiN
mujh tak kab unkee bazm meiN aata tha daur-e-jaam saaqee ne kuchch mila na diya ho sharaab meiN
GHalib' chutee sharaab, par ab bhee kabhee-kabhee peeta hooN roz-e-abr -o- shab-e-maahtaab meiN
kab se hooN, kya bataaooN jahaan-e-KHaraab meiN , shab haaye hijr ko bhee rakhooN gar hisaab mein
- Mirza Ghalib
{ My apologies for not writing this in Urdu/Persian script as I don't know them}
Smashing Slumdog
Even as i'm penning this ,I'm listening to O Saya from Slumdog Millionaire. Each song is unique ,pulsating,touching,energetic . And if any one wants to learn the meaning of inspiration/adaptation its right there in Ringa ringa . What a superb adaptation of Choli ke peeche kya hai !
As a true blue indian would say, paisa vasool !
As a true blue indian would say, paisa vasool !
Deewana tera
Yesterday when i heard Deewana tera by Sonu Nigam after a long time i realized Deewana by Sonu Nigam is the only album where i loved each track.
Otherwise buying an album for one outstanding song feels more like an let down.
I seem to be drawn towards singers and tracks which has a sufiyana andaz. The last outstanding song- lyrics,composition and singer which i remember is Maula mere maula.
Otherwise buying an album for one outstanding song feels more like an let down.
I seem to be drawn towards singers and tracks which has a sufiyana andaz. The last outstanding song- lyrics,composition and singer which i remember is Maula mere maula.
Wednesday, 14 January 2009
Me and my neighbour!
Me: [flustered with tragedy and livid with anger] : Last night, your dog and cat entered my patch through that bloody broken fence ,which by the way was broken by your enterprising son and ate up my white mice and love birds.
Neighbor: [quiet,extremely alert ]: I beg your pardon ! How is that possible? My tomcat Freddy and Labrador Bosco were on leash the entire night ! Its just not possible !
Me: [cried vehemently] : Oh it is ,it is. I've feathers and bones of 5 mice and 4 lovebirds to prove it.Look there, beside that bougainvillea, I've laid them out for you to see. Do you still refuse to acknowledge it ?
Neighbor: My good lady, i'm very sorry for this tragic incident which happened in your garden. Let me also add,this is something which could've happened to anyone and anywhere. We live in a world full of violence and are attacked by terrorism from all sides.
Me: Oh yes, who knows that better than me ! From last 60 years since you moved here, something or the other has kept creeping up to my house and beset me with million headaches.
Neighbor: Oh, I do know you have been fighting intruders of all kind.I've been fighting some of that ilk in my backyard too.
Me: Oh yes you have been fighting them only now! If i remember clearly didn't you at one point of time had a fetish for all kinds of wild cats and dogs. Why, you had started a sanctuary of sorts for them !
Neighbor: Come, come ,Let's not get into the past now. I'm sure its one those wild dogs which have entered your patch yesterday night and attacked your pets !
Me: [shouting very loud and clear] Oh no no. You have been saying that for years now ! It was not 'some' wild dog or cat.They were yours - your very own pets !
Neighbor: [soothingly]:Now, now,let's not jump to any conclusions here. We don't want to create a war hysteria now,do we ?.....Ok, do tell me. WHat evidence do you have that my dog and cat ate up your mice and birds ?
Me: [snorting] Evidence ! ...[rushing towards the bushes]....[i drag the tomcat by its tail,literally] here is the damned evidence. This tomcat belongs to you ,doesn't it ?
Neighbour: [examining the cat nonchalantly]: Oh its the same colour ,....hmm ,....however i think its a tad small !
Me:[glaring at him]: you really are too trifle with this whole matter,aren't you ? It doesn't matter to you at all that my mice and birds are gone,right ?
Neighbour: Where's the evidence? All I ask of you is to send me some evidence.
Me: [holding out the cat] what is this then ? Isn't this evidence enough ?
Neighbour: Why don't you send over the evidence you have collected about this incident to my house. I promise i'll take prompt action.
And so it continued. Somewhere at the bottom of my heart it rankled me - wasn't this situation quite similar to something going on already nowadays. The push and pull. The pull and push .A sordid merry go a-round !
Neighbor: [quiet,extremely alert ]: I beg your pardon ! How is that possible? My tomcat Freddy and Labrador Bosco were on leash the entire night ! Its just not possible !
Me: [cried vehemently] : Oh it is ,it is. I've feathers and bones of 5 mice and 4 lovebirds to prove it.Look there, beside that bougainvillea, I've laid them out for you to see. Do you still refuse to acknowledge it ?
Neighbor: My good lady, i'm very sorry for this tragic incident which happened in your garden. Let me also add,this is something which could've happened to anyone and anywhere. We live in a world full of violence and are attacked by terrorism from all sides.
Me: Oh yes, who knows that better than me ! From last 60 years since you moved here, something or the other has kept creeping up to my house and beset me with million headaches.
Neighbor: Oh, I do know you have been fighting intruders of all kind.I've been fighting some of that ilk in my backyard too.
Me: Oh yes you have been fighting them only now! If i remember clearly didn't you at one point of time had a fetish for all kinds of wild cats and dogs. Why, you had started a sanctuary of sorts for them !
Neighbor: Come, come ,Let's not get into the past now. I'm sure its one those wild dogs which have entered your patch yesterday night and attacked your pets !
Me: [shouting very loud and clear] Oh no no. You have been saying that for years now ! It was not 'some' wild dog or cat.They were yours - your very own pets !
Neighbor: [soothingly]:Now, now,let's not jump to any conclusions here. We don't want to create a war hysteria now,do we ?.....Ok, do tell me. WHat evidence do you have that my dog and cat ate up your mice and birds ?
Me: [snorting] Evidence ! ...[rushing towards the bushes]....[i drag the tomcat by its tail,literally] here is the damned evidence. This tomcat belongs to you ,doesn't it ?
Neighbour: [examining the cat nonchalantly]: Oh its the same colour ,....hmm ,....however i think its a tad small !
Me:[glaring at him]: you really are too trifle with this whole matter,aren't you ? It doesn't matter to you at all that my mice and birds are gone,right ?
Neighbour: Where's the evidence? All I ask of you is to send me some evidence.
Me: [holding out the cat] what is this then ? Isn't this evidence enough ?
Neighbour: Why don't you send over the evidence you have collected about this incident to my house. I promise i'll take prompt action.
And so it continued. Somewhere at the bottom of my heart it rankled me - wasn't this situation quite similar to something going on already nowadays. The push and pull. The pull and push .A sordid merry go a-round !
Saturday, 10 January 2009
Hmm..
I'm very tolerant of ads on TV. Hell, I even like some of them . However, nowadays, there seem to be ads which are patronizing about women,children and some are incredibly stupid.
The Bournville ad is one such. What a tag line ! I quote: ' You don't buy a Bournville, you earn it !'
As if i don't have enough things to earn in this world:
Why the hell do ordinary people like me slave to earn money ?
To BUY.
The Bournville ad is one such. What a tag line ! I quote: ' You don't buy a Bournville, you earn it !'
As if i don't have enough things to earn in this world:
- One has to most definitely earn trust ! And even after khoon pasina, you can most definitely fail at it !
- one has to earn money - a living.
- One has to earn a good reputation.
Why the hell do ordinary people like me slave to earn money ?
To BUY.
Friday, 2 January 2009
Moharram
Moharram is the name of the first month according to Hijri calendar. The first 10 days of Moharram are marked by grief and mourning. On the 10th day of Moharram Imam Husain was slain in the battle of Karbala [Iraq]. Today is 6th of Moharram according to our Dawoodi Bohra hijri calendar.
Every year scores of Shia Muslims mourn and remember the battle of Karbala and how cruelly and mercilessly Ahle-e-bait was killed.
In my opinion, that was Jihad and not what those sucide bombers and twenty something misguided youth do !
Imam Husein refused allegiance to Yazid [Laanat] who called him to Karbala by farce. After a long journey through the desert ,his children were thirsty as well as the women and the men. Yazid sealed the river Euphrates and prevented Imam Hussein and his family from drinking water.
Thus the severe atrocities took inhumane turn where animals could drink water but not women children and men of Imam Hussein's camp.
On the 10th day of moharram, all His men were killed and only Imam Husein was left. He valiantly left for battle, thirsty and hungry, for the supreme sacrifice. He chose death over submitting himself to a cruel ,greedy Yazid.
Imam Husein ,son of Ali Bin Abi Talib and Fatema, gave up his life to protect ideals of Islam.
How can Islam be a religion that preaches hate when grandson of Prophet Mohammad gave his life and those of his kin to protect its ideals?
P.S: I've tried describing this piece of iconic history in English - a language highly unsuitable to recount Imam Husein's shahadat. There is one very true article which i found on the web for those who would like more details : http://hammorabi.blogspot.com/Imam%20Hussein/Imam%20Hussein.html
Every year scores of Shia Muslims mourn and remember the battle of Karbala and how cruelly and mercilessly Ahle-e-bait was killed.
In my opinion, that was Jihad and not what those sucide bombers and twenty something misguided youth do !
Imam Husein refused allegiance to Yazid [Laanat] who called him to Karbala by farce. After a long journey through the desert ,his children were thirsty as well as the women and the men. Yazid sealed the river Euphrates and prevented Imam Hussein and his family from drinking water.
Thus the severe atrocities took inhumane turn where animals could drink water but not women children and men of Imam Hussein's camp.
On the 10th day of moharram, all His men were killed and only Imam Husein was left. He valiantly left for battle, thirsty and hungry, for the supreme sacrifice. He chose death over submitting himself to a cruel ,greedy Yazid.
Imam Husein ,son of Ali Bin Abi Talib and Fatema, gave up his life to protect ideals of Islam.
How can Islam be a religion that preaches hate when grandson of Prophet Mohammad gave his life and those of his kin to protect its ideals?
P.S: I've tried describing this piece of iconic history in English - a language highly unsuitable to recount Imam Husein's shahadat. There is one very true article which i found on the web for those who would like more details : http://hammorabi.blogspot.com/Imam%20Hussein/Imam%20Hussein.html
Thursday, 1 January 2009
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