Hair care

This is my entry to some contest[Dove Hair aware App].. but i was going to write this anyway...this story is about my hair which though dead has mind of its own !

I did not have 'hair problems' while growing up . I was a content teenager and young 20 year old as well. I have chopped off my hair at least once a year for different hairstyles simply because i had a neighborhood parlour aunty who gave me fabulous hairstyles. A new haircut drastically different every year became my thing !

I used to use Soap on my hair - a blasphemy on many counts today. The truth is i still do sometimes ! I have tried practically every cheap and decently priced shampoo in the market in last 18 years. I have used Dove too and Dove is up there with all its contemporaries. But i love Dove conditioners and hair masks more. Its easy on the pocket ,moisturising and a little goes a long way.

My hair problems started when i fell ill with typhoid when i was 26 . After the antibiotic course, days of illness my hair fell off in clumps. It became half of the previous thickness and it has never been the same.
But i had to hold on to whatever hair was left so  i listened to my mom ...Again !
Here's what i did and am doing to maintain my hair:

1. I eat healthy diet ..i mean if you can forget that our fruits and vegetables are loaded with pesticides ..then yes i eat more of unpolished brown rice, chapati instead of bread . I  try ..I do!

2. My hair care is pretty simple. i use hair oil - the pure oils . massage and keep over night.I have used coconut oil mostly mixed with castor oil. But i have been making my own herbal oil with coconut oil.But since we girls get easily bored.. i have used til oil and olive oil too.

3.Wash my hair with reetha and shikakai liquid: in a pinch however i use shampoo !

4. I apply egg mask twice a month.
    Here's my recipe for it:
   Take 1 egg , 1 tbsp of lemon juice and castor oil 1 tbsp and any other oil like coconut oil 1 tbsp and blend it happily to almost make mayonnaise out of it. You can add curd to it too. I apply this properly and keep it for 3-4 hours. I wash off with shampoo because i hate the smell of egg in my hair.
But i swear,...this makes my hair BIG,bouncy and shiny for days to come.If i have henna around in my house i soak it in lemon juice overnight and mix it too in this pack[ about a tablespoon of henna]

4. Another thing i do regularly is vinegar rinse. I buy brewed vinegar for this. Whether i shampoo or use reetha liquid i always do vinegar rinse.
When i have time i do this :
I apply conditioner after shampooing , keep it for 5 minutes and then rinse out with diluted vinegar [ 1 tbsp of vinegar mixed with 1 cup water }

5. I have not colored my hair ever. Now i am gearing up to be happy with few silver strands i see and delay coloring my hair as much as i can.

I have been following this schedule for last 9 years . i don't have dandruff in my hair. I do get occasional bouts of hair fall but i know its either because of hormones or some medicine and stress. yes I have been under constant stress from last 12 years !
So you see …and that is the end of my hair problems !
I have done and am doing so much for my hair and skin and like my Mom use to say if I had  taken half the care for my body i would be slim, athletic and a model ! C'est la vie !

advice

We all love giving advice especially non-tailored random advice. And especially advice the knocks of life that we went through made us learn. i was very big on giving advice when i was in college and more so in my early twenties. I am generally an outspoken and opinionated person who unfortunately was always well read in her life so giving sage advice came easy to me merely on heresy.
Now, i know how stupid that was...just because you happen to read a lot and therefore know a lot more doesn't qualify you to give advice. But old habits die slowly and sometimes not at all and therefore this blog. This blog is only about one thing which in real world matters 0.00001% - my opinions !

The first people who disregarded my advice were my sisters. They rebelled ,ignored and generally dismissed my advice on anything without even listening. But they did that with my parents too.That put me in my place but at that time i didn't realize that i have to stop giving advice to deaf ears ! Years went on, and it slowly dawned onto me that they don't want good and bad advice from me or my parents.  My mid 20s and late 20s and early 30's now were full of turmoil. I couldn't catch a break. Nothing was working out of me and then my mom fell horribly sick never to stand up again. I am running house ,cooking and cleaning buying groceries from last 6 years full time.  I am unappreciated and zombied and suddenly i realized i stopped giving much of advice from last 5-6 years to anyone !
A cruel reality is that my so called blood sisters who are now 30 and 33 don't do or take up responsibility even when told or specially asked and they have conveniently put all on me because i am unmarried and staying with parents.
 So prerequisite of giving advice is to assume the person whom you are giving advice is dumb, innocent, vulnerable....and as in my case this might not be true at all !
Now, my advice is not to give advice at all until and unless the other person begs for it ! Of course, this is only in real life. Blogs, your writings  and other creative outlets are strictly your domain so you can dole out advice by liters if you want !

Yet, old habits die real slowly and since nicotine like patch is not available for advice giving, arguing and anger i have consolidated few things i 'll never say to close or random people after a lot of thought now ! There are some advice in this list which i have never said because they have never appealed to me and there are some which i was guilty of.

1. Be positive : i mean what does it anyway mean except a blood group ! This is the example of a total random thing to say.Its patronizing and condescending and when you tell someone to ' be positive' you have assumed the worse about the other person's frame of mind. As far as my experience goes most people including the sad, alone ones are usually hoping for the positive in every outcome of their lives. The depressed,disillusioned and sick are fighting their negativity in their lives - all they need is support and understanding. Saying  'be positive' is unhelpful and cruel to this group of people and a short cut !
2. Why don't you do this /that to your face , wear this or that !: yeah seriously, are you a trained fashion designer or an expert ? Even the experts don't open their mouths untill they are paid for it ! I mean, women get so vicious about other women that they run them down behind their backs ,make fun of them . Get this, people like and unlike you on basis of clothes you wear or don't wear , how much make up you wear or don't wear are talking because of their insecurity. Just let it slide off your back like Aishwarya does and you have won !
3. Why don't you eat less and work out and become fit ? : Women all over the world hear this a lot ! In India, we go a step ahead and decide arranged marriages and dowry on how fat or thin the girl is ! Your body will tell you when you go overboard, there'll be a wakeup call someday when you have been substituting food and pastries for emotions and happiness. But sadly, this is one thing which you have to decide yourself. Enough is enough you'll say and make lifestyle modifications to become fit. I think this is the only area where only parents can nudge and not 'push' for superficial reasons like marriage or sex appeal.
4.  Why don't you try more, work harder ! : There is this notion in India that people who don't try or work harder are unsuccessful and less rich. This is the next most random advice doled out by successful and rich people and those who maintain status quo. People don't realize that they have struck out part by working for it, luck and by being in the industry which pays well just by being at the right time. I suspect many Indians already know this and that 's why most Indians push their children and pay through their noses to make them doctors, lawyers and engineers !There are people who have to struggle for every morsel and every opportunity and still they die without breaking even !So just thank your lucky stars and shut up !
5. Respect him/ her they are older to you:  This advice is harmless and mostly results in uthak- baithak ! Respect is earned  so how much however you tell someone to respect someone the truth is all the salutations from young to old and junior to senior is only superficial and just good manners ! The British made the distinction between elaborate good manners and respect early on ! :-P
6. Don't cry: ........or boys don't cry ! I have never been guilty of saying this to anyone since i am a big cry baby myself. And i think boys could do with little bit of crying now and then ! 
7. Arrey, be happy and laugh na:  ....
   Or other form is you have so much going for you, be happy. Sages and wise people of the world have died saying this: you can't make someone happy or sad. So how meaningless it is to tell someone that they 'should be enjoying ,laughing and being happy just because they have xyz things and you don't [ the advice giver]

 See, after this list there doesn't remain anything to give advice on! Remember however, you may not give advice but you set boundaries what you'll tolerate and how much So opposite of advice i think is to set boundaries so human interaction don't grate on your nerves ! I have learnt about boundaries the hard way. Maybe some other time i'll talk about boundaries !

Curves

Me and X were sitting on her porch the other day. Me and she, both were queasy and bloated [ yep our cycles matched this month !]. She was flipping through the magazine in which for the umpteenth time Vidya Balan said how 'proud she was of her curves' which X had read i think nth time !

 X: So curves are in !
Me: They were always in here in india... Kareena Kapoor and her publicist went crazy over the town proclaiming 'size zero figure' and spoilt the indian mentality briefly !
X: ...hmmm... so does curves being 'in' means i don't have to scramble to lose weight anymore !

i looked at her and said,
Me: Were you scrambling to lose weight? I didn't know ! Did you lose any ?
X :  just a couple of kilos ! [she said mockingly crying]
Me: [ i patted on her back and said] Hey that's good. Look, atleast you didn't gain any !
X: So, reallly tell me... guys who lusted after Vidya in 'The Dirty picture'....seeing the sales. Has the mentality changed?
Me: In marriage market ? For us?
X: God, it would be so great na... i no longer would have to lose weight just to improve my vital statistics to find a suitable boy in this wild indian marriage market. Wow, curves are in , curves are in ...! la la la

 Me: Wow, you are reading too much of these magazines and too much into Vidya Balan's proclamation ! Their lives are different ! And stop bothering about your weight ..you are fine. He's got to like you the way you are. Look, we disregard so much in the guy's looks.. Balding head, horrible skin, ungroomed beards and then their other special qualities- mama's boys, can't cook, won't clean,won't help in household chores and what not !

X: [ she cupped her chin and murmured] I haven't seen a single guy in last one year with hair on his head. They were all in different states of baldness. You are right ! SCREW THEM

Me: [smugly , i said] Guys rejecting girls on body weight alone... not worth our time ! And stop reading these costly fashion and movie magazines . There is already so much BS floating around on TV, movies and in real people's real conversations.......

X; [ she slapped her thighs and looked squarely at me] There you go....