Narcissism ??

I laugh too loud and hard

years ago, when i was a little girl
I laughed heartily
Too loud
Too hard
Sometimes my eyes watered
Most of the time
I had to hold myself
Lest i fall

Lousiest joke and lamest lines
Were enough !
I never needed
Depth in Humour
Usually i laughed
at people who slipped in rain
and at those who tripped
And fell
though i got angry glances
I laughed

when i grew up
Apparently mature,wise and smart !
I never saw people laugh
At work,all i got were smiles
as Dead as my plastic debit card
No one laughed loud or hard
Rarely did i see
A full grown man's jiggling belly
and watery slanting eyes

And me ?
I laughed loud and hard
Too less !
Too infrequently !
Too ladylike !
And i never forget
To invent a reason
For unforgiving serious adults
Leading Difficult
Somewhat Poached life
But then ,Its me
I still laugh too loud and hard