You know,everyday lessons keep coming at us. If we are lucky we could avoid them,deny or even ridicule them and get away with it.Most of the time we cannot.The wise ones learn the lesson. And yes, no lesson is free in this universe. Sometimes you are forced by Life to learn a lesson and pay the price ! There are some lessons Life keeps throwing at you until you learn them.Usually the lessons are hidden in failures, loss and incredible sadness.
Learning something is a forgotten value. Nowadays, we don't really teach children to learn or derive lessons from hard, gritty or even an easy going life. Protecting children from harm and protecting them otherwise are two different things. I was once a child and i am incredibly lucky to have hard working ,stable parents who slogged for everything who rarely gave 'things' and everything we asked for !
I learnt early on not to take anything for granted.Yet, during teens, i wanted to be rich,liked by all boys and hated everything about my middle class lifestyle.Fortunately that phase lasted only 2-3 years.
Since my Mom stitched beautiful clothes for me and my sis- skirts, frocks,punjabi,tops: we never lacked in clothes department.As kids we never understood how magically we had clothes for every occasion because my mom stitched in the afternoons after all the house work and chores were done and we were in school.
I learnt to appreciate my Mom and her superb skills which she never boasted.Thus i learnt to appreciate where appreciation is due.And to not boast.
We learnt to study on our own. My father and mom had taken care of our studies and it was very very important to them.i therefore learnt importance of education.Yep, for girls ! I can never ever unlearn that !
We are 3 sis and no brothers however each of our births were celebrated and though everyone around my mom and dad talked how she had only girls and no sons.Even if this bothered my parents they have never shown it !I learnt NOT to discriminate against girls.I learnt NOT to abort if its a girl. I learnt girls and boys can be brought up in an egalitarian environment.I sincerely hate all those people who want sons and are disappointed or feel less by because of a daughter.And i doubt the sincerity of people who in this day and age, keep getting 3-4 children till they have a son !
Since both my parents have only slogged and have had hard-pressed lives, I learnt hard work will not kill you though it might make you sick sometimes. I learnt to be hands on- repair the dress, polish your shoes,cycle to school, travel by public transport, cook ,clean and be frugal and use common sense all the time.I learnt not to wait for help ! I also learnt reality of life that people don't really care and gossiping is a vicious cycle.As i grow older in a city,I see callousness,carelessness and sweet-talk use and throw policy. My folks were simple people who didn't know these clever cunning ways so we didn't learn that !
However, from bad experiences, i learnt to discern and be assertive and not take nonsense from anyone.Yet, sometimes i am taken in by sob stories and clever talks.So,i have lots to learn there ! i learnt money doesn't bring happiness after a certain point.I learnt just because you are nice and fair , people are not going to be nice and fair to you ! I learnt sadness and pain is real and can't do anything to avoid it.And yeah, all that glitters and sparkles is not gold and diamonds !:-)
And poverty is a possibility for EVERYONE !
I learnt not to sleep in afternoons until and unless you are sick.I learnt to have lots of hobbies.And since my mom passed away, i have learnt more social games and conventions. I learnt to mind my own business.I have learnt to speak up for the right thing even if alone.My mom taught basics of sewing to me only 4 years ago however learning to sew and become good at it was only my initiative .I read books, kept asking questions to my aunt and mom and made lots of mistakes in cutting the cloth,measuring however i kept at it. Learning sewing at 30 was tougher than finishing post graduation at 23. Infact, i really don't remember anything i learnt in classrooms even the studies we have done on our own because 90% profs were mediocre ,boring and unaccessible after classes.
I was bad at making rotis..i could cook anything and everything but couldn't make a decent roti. I am happy to say after one and half years of practice and trial and error,i can make soft rotis. i learnt MS office on my own.Taught myself how to use Kubuntu..if i can learn technology,believe me, anyone can- i am so dunce in all practical things like accounting and technology.
From experiences , i am learning not to give advice until asked for.I am still learning to not argue at ALL. I am still learning how to live in the Present and not mope about the Past and worry about the future. I am still learning to take care of myself well.I have learnt that unfortunately, women are many a times not supportive of women.
Life is certainly a classroom for the eager and no class is better than Life and actually doing stuff for yourself.When you do anything, you get to know how tough something really is !Then maybe you wouldn't have black and white opinions and be more grey and open and thankful !
So,what have you learnt or are struggling to learn? Are you open to learning and doing the chores of lIfe ?
Learning something is a forgotten value. Nowadays, we don't really teach children to learn or derive lessons from hard, gritty or even an easy going life. Protecting children from harm and protecting them otherwise are two different things. I was once a child and i am incredibly lucky to have hard working ,stable parents who slogged for everything who rarely gave 'things' and everything we asked for !
I learnt early on not to take anything for granted.Yet, during teens, i wanted to be rich,liked by all boys and hated everything about my middle class lifestyle.Fortunately that phase lasted only 2-3 years.
Since my Mom stitched beautiful clothes for me and my sis- skirts, frocks,punjabi,tops: we never lacked in clothes department.As kids we never understood how magically we had clothes for every occasion because my mom stitched in the afternoons after all the house work and chores were done and we were in school.
I learnt to appreciate my Mom and her superb skills which she never boasted.Thus i learnt to appreciate where appreciation is due.And to not boast.
We learnt to study on our own. My father and mom had taken care of our studies and it was very very important to them.i therefore learnt importance of education.Yep, for girls ! I can never ever unlearn that !
We are 3 sis and no brothers however each of our births were celebrated and though everyone around my mom and dad talked how she had only girls and no sons.Even if this bothered my parents they have never shown it !I learnt NOT to discriminate against girls.I learnt NOT to abort if its a girl. I learnt girls and boys can be brought up in an egalitarian environment.I sincerely hate all those people who want sons and are disappointed or feel less by because of a daughter.And i doubt the sincerity of people who in this day and age, keep getting 3-4 children till they have a son !
Since both my parents have only slogged and have had hard-pressed lives, I learnt hard work will not kill you though it might make you sick sometimes. I learnt to be hands on- repair the dress, polish your shoes,cycle to school, travel by public transport, cook ,clean and be frugal and use common sense all the time.I learnt not to wait for help ! I also learnt reality of life that people don't really care and gossiping is a vicious cycle.As i grow older in a city,I see callousness,carelessness and sweet-talk use and throw policy. My folks were simple people who didn't know these clever cunning ways so we didn't learn that !
However, from bad experiences, i learnt to discern and be assertive and not take nonsense from anyone.Yet, sometimes i am taken in by sob stories and clever talks.So,i have lots to learn there ! i learnt money doesn't bring happiness after a certain point.I learnt just because you are nice and fair , people are not going to be nice and fair to you ! I learnt sadness and pain is real and can't do anything to avoid it.And yeah, all that glitters and sparkles is not gold and diamonds !:-)
And poverty is a possibility for EVERYONE !
I learnt not to sleep in afternoons until and unless you are sick.I learnt to have lots of hobbies.And since my mom passed away, i have learnt more social games and conventions. I learnt to mind my own business.I have learnt to speak up for the right thing even if alone.My mom taught basics of sewing to me only 4 years ago however learning to sew and become good at it was only my initiative .I read books, kept asking questions to my aunt and mom and made lots of mistakes in cutting the cloth,measuring however i kept at it. Learning sewing at 30 was tougher than finishing post graduation at 23. Infact, i really don't remember anything i learnt in classrooms even the studies we have done on our own because 90% profs were mediocre ,boring and unaccessible after classes.
I was bad at making rotis..i could cook anything and everything but couldn't make a decent roti. I am happy to say after one and half years of practice and trial and error,i can make soft rotis. i learnt MS office on my own.Taught myself how to use Kubuntu..if i can learn technology,believe me, anyone can- i am so dunce in all practical things like accounting and technology.
From experiences , i am learning not to give advice until asked for.I am still learning to not argue at ALL. I am still learning how to live in the Present and not mope about the Past and worry about the future. I am still learning to take care of myself well.I have learnt that unfortunately, women are many a times not supportive of women.
Life is certainly a classroom for the eager and no class is better than Life and actually doing stuff for yourself.When you do anything, you get to know how tough something really is !Then maybe you wouldn't have black and white opinions and be more grey and open and thankful !
So,what have you learnt or are struggling to learn? Are you open to learning and doing the chores of lIfe ?
yes, I am open to anything and everything life has to offer. it's just that I am very judgmental of myself at times.
ReplyDelete1- I have learnt not to let go anything that I am scared of.
2- I believe in the quotes" it's always too soon to quit"
3- I have learn how difficult it is not to forget what life has taught us. It's true. We tend to forget things which life has taught us by being harsh.
and I am still learning a lot of things!!
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