Nowadays nobody tells as it is in friendship. And then people wonder why they have so few real friends and why it always seem that friendships have reduced to eating out at a fancy joint and put on weight with sugared coffee at cafe ! Or worst -about keeping tabs on how many times you called them and the many times they called you [this calling business is worst for people like me who use mobiles to talk to the point and feel uncomfortable discussing economic situation in Africa on the mobile or worst small talk !]
I and many people complain that real friendships have disappeared and i feel envious of people who have buddies whom they can call at 3 am without feeling any obligation [ and not because they're schmuck but have real good understanding between them]
I've always been direct and for a long time if any of my friends asked for honesty ,i gave it. Now, I think twice,many times thrice [and sometimes i have stomachache because i'm dying to blurt].Nowadays, I don't give honest opinion because many people cannot handle it.They feel slighted and then turn on me to take their revenge.So, i have only a one or two friends where we tell as it is.I love it when someone tells me as it especially if its a constructive reality about me and when i know my friend has no agenda and nothing to gain from it.
It makes for real friendship and real respect.
Someone told me that friends too come with an expiry date.I don't know about that. I think generally people leave because they don't care and love you any more and therefore they are unwilling to tolerate your psychotic,moody or schizophrenic or eccentric or idiosyncratic existence.Or maybe they bored to death with you.Maybe you are too demanding, too egoistic ,too arrogant,too much of a liar[white lies included !],or plain bogus phony to begin with.
And sometimes, its got nothing to do with you at all !
Learning to live with loneliness and aloneness and find best practices for coping is extremely crucial in these times.
Monday, 16 November 2009
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride; so I love you because I know no other way that this: where I does not exist, nor you, so close that your hand on my chest is my hand, so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.
- Pablo Neruda
I think that: there are those who suffer at the hands of those whom they love because they are afraid to lose them.
Then there are those who suffer because they understand,empathize and love inspite of the reality of the person they love. They love truly, they suffer the most.