a person died........

      the Delhi student who was gang-raped died at early hours today in Singapore...and Delhi police ramped up and secured vital points of Delhi and made some zones inaccessible to protestors.This is what Delhi police can do ! Probably ,anywhere in India police would do the same ! The police personnel are probably wondering what is the hullabaloo is all about. After all, it was not a terrorist attack ! just some girl raped.......died.

        Girls die all the time in India.True, men die too !But in India and other developing countries,women die mostly because of trauma, abuse and incredible hard lives...that's the difference !

I am for capital punishment for rape and castration for minor rapists. Rape also could be made non- bailable offence! The noose could be tightened and made so tight that men in India would think thrice before taking advantage of women in vulnerable areas and positions.

The men who commit rape should not be allowed to cover their faces in public.Their names should be printed and paraded about.

For medieval mindsets and patriarchal norms in India , we need medieval punishments and deterrents. Otherwise apathetic men and women like Kakoli Ghosh will continue to spout bakwas and remain in power !

If capital punishment is made for rape,it may not stop rape but it might motivate Indian men and women to bring up their sons more responsibly and may instill more confidence in women to move about freely in this country. The girl died ....and this has instilled fear in parents of girls and indian women of all ages.

If nothing is done about this Indian women will live in fear and rapists and indian men and women with patriarchal mindsets would have won.......................by a huge margin !

advice

We all love giving advice especially non-tailored random advice. And especially advice the knocks of life that we went through made us learn. i was very big on giving advice when i was in college and more so in my early twenties. I am generally an outspoken and opinionated person who unfortunately was always well read in her life so giving sage advice came easy to me merely on heresy.
Now, i know how stupid that was...just because you happen to read a lot and therefore know a lot more doesn't qualify you to give advice. But old habits die slowly and sometimes not at all and therefore this blog. This blog is only about one thing which in real world matters 0.00001% - my opinions !

The first people who disregarded my advice were my sisters. They rebelled ,ignored and generally dismissed my advice on anything without even listening. But they did that with my parents too.That put me in my place but at that time i didn't realize that i have to stop giving advice to deaf ears ! Years went on, and it slowly dawned onto me that they don't want good and bad advice from me or my parents.  My mid 20s and late 20s and early 30's now were full of turmoil. I couldn't catch a break. Nothing was working out of me and then my mom fell horribly sick never to stand up again. I am running house ,cooking and cleaning buying groceries from last 6 years full time.  I am unappreciated and zombied and suddenly i realized i stopped giving much of advice from last 5-6 years to anyone !
A cruel reality is that my so called blood sisters who are now 30 and 33 don't do or take up responsibility even when told or specially asked and they have conveniently put all on me because i am unmarried and staying with parents.
 So prerequisite of giving advice is to assume the person whom you are giving advice is dumb, innocent, vulnerable....and as in my case this might not be true at all !
Now, my advice is not to give advice at all until and unless the other person begs for it ! Of course, this is only in real life. Blogs, your writings  and other creative outlets are strictly your domain so you can dole out advice by liters if you want !

Yet, old habits die real slowly and since nicotine like patch is not available for advice giving, arguing and anger i have consolidated few things i 'll never say to close or random people after a lot of thought now ! There are some advice in this list which i have never said because they have never appealed to me and there are some which i was guilty of.

1. Be positive : i mean what does it anyway mean except a blood group ! This is the example of a total random thing to say.Its patronizing and condescending and when you tell someone to ' be positive' you have assumed the worse about the other person's frame of mind. As far as my experience goes most people including the sad, alone ones are usually hoping for the positive in every outcome of their lives. The depressed,disillusioned and sick are fighting their negativity in their lives - all they need is support and understanding. Saying  'be positive' is unhelpful and cruel to this group of people and a short cut !
2. Why don't you do this /that to your face , wear this or that !: yeah seriously, are you a trained fashion designer or an expert ? Even the experts don't open their mouths untill they are paid for it ! I mean, women get so vicious about other women that they run them down behind their backs ,make fun of them . Get this, people like and unlike you on basis of clothes you wear or don't wear , how much make up you wear or don't wear are talking because of their insecurity. Just let it slide off your back like Aishwarya does and you have won !
3. Why don't you eat less and work out and become fit ? : Women all over the world hear this a lot ! In India, we go a step ahead and decide arranged marriages and dowry on how fat or thin the girl is ! Your body will tell you when you go overboard, there'll be a wakeup call someday when you have been substituting food and pastries for emotions and happiness. But sadly, this is one thing which you have to decide yourself. Enough is enough you'll say and make lifestyle modifications to become fit. I think this is the only area where only parents can nudge and not 'push' for superficial reasons like marriage or sex appeal.
4.  Why don't you try more, work harder ! : There is this notion in India that people who don't try or work harder are unsuccessful and less rich. This is the next most random advice doled out by successful and rich people and those who maintain status quo. People don't realize that they have struck out part by working for it, luck and by being in the industry which pays well just by being at the right time. I suspect many Indians already know this and that 's why most Indians push their children and pay through their noses to make them doctors, lawyers and engineers !There are people who have to struggle for every morsel and every opportunity and still they die without breaking even !So just thank your lucky stars and shut up !
5. Respect him/ her they are older to you:  This advice is harmless and mostly results in uthak- baithak ! Respect is earned  so how much however you tell someone to respect someone the truth is all the salutations from young to old and junior to senior is only superficial and just good manners ! The British made the distinction between elaborate good manners and respect early on ! :-P
6. Don't cry: ........or boys don't cry ! I have never been guilty of saying this to anyone since i am a big cry baby myself. And i think boys could do with little bit of crying now and then ! 
7. Arrey, be happy and laugh na:  ....
   Or other form is you have so much going for you, be happy. Sages and wise people of the world have died saying this: you can't make someone happy or sad. So how meaningless it is to tell someone that they 'should be enjoying ,laughing and being happy just because they have xyz things and you don't [ the advice giver]

 See, after this list there doesn't remain anything to give advice on! Remember however, you may not give advice but you set boundaries what you'll tolerate and how much So opposite of advice i think is to set boundaries so human interaction don't grate on your nerves ! I have learnt about boundaries the hard way. Maybe some other time i'll talk about boundaries !

Curves

Me and X were sitting on her porch the other day. Me and she, both were queasy and bloated [ yep our cycles matched this month !]. She was flipping through the magazine in which for the umpteenth time Vidya Balan said how 'proud she was of her curves' which X had read i think nth time !

 X: So curves are in !
Me: They were always in here in india... Kareena Kapoor and her publicist went crazy over the town proclaiming 'size zero figure' and spoilt the indian mentality briefly !
X: ...hmmm... so does curves being 'in' means i don't have to scramble to lose weight anymore !

i looked at her and said,
Me: Were you scrambling to lose weight? I didn't know ! Did you lose any ?
X :  just a couple of kilos ! [she said mockingly crying]
Me: [ i patted on her back and said] Hey that's good. Look, atleast you didn't gain any !
X: So, reallly tell me... guys who lusted after Vidya in 'The Dirty picture'....seeing the sales. Has the mentality changed?
Me: In marriage market ? For us?
X: God, it would be so great na... i no longer would have to lose weight just to improve my vital statistics to find a suitable boy in this wild indian marriage market. Wow, curves are in , curves are in ...! la la la

 Me: Wow, you are reading too much of these magazines and too much into Vidya Balan's proclamation ! Their lives are different ! And stop bothering about your weight ..you are fine. He's got to like you the way you are. Look, we disregard so much in the guy's looks.. Balding head, horrible skin, ungroomed beards and then their other special qualities- mama's boys, can't cook, won't clean,won't help in household chores and what not !

X: [ she cupped her chin and murmured] I haven't seen a single guy in last one year with hair on his head. They were all in different states of baldness. You are right ! SCREW THEM

Me: [smugly , i said] Guys rejecting girls on body weight alone... not worth our time ! And stop reading these costly fashion and movie magazines . There is already so much BS floating around on TV, movies and in real people's real conversations.......

X; [ she slapped her thighs and looked squarely at me] There you go....

Learning

You know,everyday lessons keep coming at us. If we are lucky we could avoid them,deny or even ridicule them and get away with it.Most of the time we cannot.The wise ones learn the lesson. And yes, no lesson is free in this universe. Sometimes you are forced by Life to learn a lesson and pay the price ! There are some lessons Life keeps throwing at you until you learn them.Usually the lessons are hidden in failures, loss and incredible sadness.

Learning something is a forgotten value. Nowadays, we don't really teach children to learn or derive lessons from hard, gritty or even an easy going life. Protecting children from harm and protecting them otherwise are two different things. I was once a child and i am incredibly lucky to have hard working ,stable parents who slogged for everything who rarely gave 'things' and everything we asked for !
I learnt early on not to take anything for granted.Yet, during teens, i wanted to be rich,liked by all boys and hated everything about my middle class lifestyle.Fortunately that phase lasted only 2-3 years.
Since my Mom stitched beautiful clothes for me and my sis- skirts, frocks,punjabi,tops: we never lacked in clothes department.As kids we never understood how magically we had clothes for every occasion because my mom stitched in the afternoons after all the house work and chores were done and we were in school.
I learnt to appreciate my Mom and her superb skills which she never boasted.Thus i learnt to appreciate where appreciation is due.And to not boast.
We learnt to study on our own. My father and mom had taken care of our studies and it was very very important to them.i therefore learnt importance of education.Yep, for girls ! I can never ever unlearn that !
We are 3 sis and no brothers however each of our births were celebrated and though everyone around my mom and dad talked how she had only girls and no sons.Even if this bothered my parents they have never shown it !I learnt NOT to discriminate against girls.I learnt NOT to abort if its a girl. I learnt girls and boys can be brought up in an egalitarian environment.I sincerely hate all those people who want sons and are disappointed or feel less by because of a daughter.And i doubt the sincerity of people who in this day and age, keep getting 3-4 children till they have a son !

Since both my parents have only slogged and have had hard-pressed lives, I learnt hard work will not kill you though it might make you sick sometimes. I learnt to be hands on- repair the dress, polish your shoes,cycle to school, travel by public transport, cook ,clean and be frugal and use common sense all the time.I learnt not to wait for help ! I also learnt reality of life that people don't really care and gossiping is a vicious cycle.As i grow older in a city,I see callousness,carelessness and sweet-talk use and throw policy. My folks were simple people who didn't know these clever cunning ways so we didn't learn that !
However, from bad experiences, i learnt to discern and be assertive and not take nonsense from anyone.Yet, sometimes i am taken in by sob stories and clever talks.So,i have lots to learn there ! i learnt money doesn't bring happiness after a certain point.I learnt just because you are nice and fair , people are not going to be nice and fair to you ! I learnt sadness and pain is real and can't do anything to avoid it.And yeah, all that glitters and sparkles is not gold and diamonds !:-)
And poverty is a possibility for EVERYONE !
I learnt not to sleep in afternoons until and unless you are sick.I learnt to have lots of hobbies.And since my mom passed away, i have learnt more social games and conventions. I learnt to mind my own business.I have learnt to speak up for the right thing even if alone.My mom taught basics of sewing to me only 4 years ago however learning to sew and become good at it was only my initiative .I read books, kept asking questions to my aunt and mom and made lots of mistakes in cutting the cloth,measuring however i kept at it. Learning sewing at 30 was tougher than finishing post graduation at 23. Infact, i really don't remember anything i learnt in classrooms even the studies we have done on our own because 90% profs were mediocre ,boring and unaccessible after classes.

I was bad at making rotis..i could cook anything and everything but couldn't make a decent roti. I am happy to say after one and half years of practice and trial and error,i can make soft rotis. i learnt MS office on my own.Taught myself how to use Kubuntu..if i can learn technology,believe me, anyone can- i am so dunce in all practical things like accounting and technology.

From experiences , i am learning not to give advice until asked for.I am still learning to not argue at ALL. I am still learning how to live in the Present and not mope about the Past and worry about the future. I am still learning to take care of myself well.I have learnt that unfortunately, women are many a times not supportive of women.

Life is certainly a classroom for the eager and no class is better than Life and actually doing stuff for yourself.When you do anything, you get to know how tough something really is !Then maybe you wouldn't have black and white opinions and be more grey and open and thankful !

So,what have you learnt or are struggling to learn? Are you open to learning and doing the chores of lIfe ?

Thrills of Banking

I've finally reached a conclusion that poor customer service by Indians for Indians is our trademark.Either that or I'm a magnet for poor customer service and cheaters.
Last year i opened an account with State Bank of India ,Pulgate,Pune branch. Anybody who has opened an account knows that one has to attach all the required proofs before a/c is opened.Now nationalized banks are class apart. They are Government employees therefore i doubt they can be fired for being obnoxious, poor service, mistakes ,etc etc.

Here's what happened to me and which has cost me heartburn ,umpteenth trips to the bank and lots of cursing.

1. They opened my a/c after 12-13 days.They told me they'd inform me but they didn't . I made 2 trips just to find out if my a/c was opened.
2. On my third trip ,they gave me a/c no. in which one has to immediately deposit Rs 1000 which i did.
3. I had asked for cheque book and internet banking facility which they had NOT activated even though i had filled in the details in the account opening form and the debit card was to arrive at the given address.
4. Days passed and  I did not get the debit card so fearing loss of the card, i went to the branch and there it was -lying safely in the cupboard of Mr Branch Manager ! Now the bank manager growled about why the address was not written on the forms properly. I growled back "why will i not write the correct address for my own account" and i told him address proof was already given to the bank. He refuses to believe that i had written correct address on the a/c opening form .What an idiot !
5. Then i go and waste an hour for internet banking pin and ids at the behest of a rude unsmiling bank lady.
6. I log on to internet banking to realize the data entry people of State bank of India have conveniently written only "Pune"  for address. Poor courier guy. SBI bank had left it for postal dept to figure out where i lived in Pune.
7. On my fifth trip, I go to complain to bank manager that my address is not there at all on net banking so how do i receive anything ! I waste another hour by the time 3 idiots open the a/c on respective PCs to find that indeed the address field is empty.One has to imagine the greatness of banking institutions run by the government - addresses are not important to them !
8. One idiot of the bank asks me to tell her  the address while she updates . Of course, she did a bad job of it and now there is the correct address followed by wrong area. Something i realized later on the net banking page.
9. Amidst all this i suddenly get another shock.The day my a/c was opened happened to be June 30 -last day of the quarter. So guess what ? The great SBI bank deducts min.balance charge even though on same day i deposited Rs 1000.
10. On my 8th visit i go and again complained to the bank manager. Yep i did lot of complaining but they have worn me. He tells me rudely he can't do anything about it because it was automated [i now realize that this is a lie- they throw all the blame on computers and automation.So never ever believe them !] He directs me to another idiot Mr.Despande- his asst.manager. Both of them rudely tell me the same thing .I ask them to close my a/c because I've had enough.They tell me to wait for a year otherwise there'll be more charges. I ask them for email id for their superiors or complaint forms. Now, when i say this- Despande tells me there are no such forms and he asks me to write the complaint on blank page.I do so and then take xerox copy as my acknowledgment with his sign and stamp.
11. Well, what happens next, you might ask....well nothing happens. The trail goes cold ...around 25th July 2010. I resurface around may 2011. Why the delay you might ask ? My mom was terminally ill and it became impossible for me to pay visits to SBI bank's idiots.
12. Armed with the xerox copy of the complaint and an approval form for mobile no. i go to the bank. I ask Despande whether anything has been done in past one year....he doesn't reply properly as usual and then he looks up my details on his system and promises me to reverse the charges that day itself ,saying i won't need this complaint letter anymore. I also give him the mobile approval form.
13.Again, nothing happens . Now I'm thoroughly harassed and beyond angry -I've just settled down in comfortable numbness .Yet, i make 10th visit to the bank only to find Despande on leave and the lady whom he gave forms in front of me feigned surprise. But i had lost patience- i categorically told her that forms were given to her in front of me and why nothing was done about it.She took down my number and a/c no.Of course, i didn't expect her to call me  or to do anything about it.
14. I call Despande after 2-3 days and he takes down my a/c number and doesn't do anything.
15. On my 11th visit ,i go with a/c closure form having made up my mind to close the a/c. Despande asks me why i want to close it. Heaving and too tired to repeat the above details i just mentioned that there is no service and that I'm happy to  leave the bank.He immediately pulled up my details and asks some lady to reverse charges then and there.As for mobile number updation they have lost the form and he's asking me to redo approval thingie.
16. Now i'm a tired woman with charges reversed without interest.
17. One more thing, i had also send two complaint mails via SBI website for which i got docket numbers and an email saying they have forwarded the complaint to Branch manager ,Pulgate. It goes without saying the complaint emails went to the dustbins and arrogant lazy SBI people didn't do anything about it.

Why write such a long tirade on the blog?

1.To bring to everyone's attention that such things happen and thank your stars if this has not happened to you.However,BEWARE. It could happen to you.
2.State bank of India is a lousy bank and don't open an a/c there at all.
3.Banks are your enemies. They are not accountable to their customers and levy charges ad hoc so yes they can reverse charges too.
4. Its good thing my religion forbids me the eating interest off my money .Banks profit from interests and charges.
5. Employees of banks lie and usually they don't know what happens in their own banks.They don't have proper and up to date knowledge of the banking services or charges themselves. This is true for private banks too.
6. Bank employees are there to mislead,misguide ,withhold information so everything becomes YOUR responsibility.
7 Since banks are saving paper and therefore trees, they DON"T inform you about revised charges, changes in interest rates..nothing zilch.So rest assured, anytime anywhere banking ,easy banking are "MARKETING WORDS"- hollow and untrue.Its your responsibility to keep checking their websites etc.
8 If you take interest off your money, then beware, when you close a/c in any bank they have to send the chq for interest accrued to you - just remove all your money from the bank because from experience i can tell you they don't bother to send your accrued interest by courier once your a/c is closed.They just eat up the money.

Customer nightmare !

Customer care in India - by Indians and for Indians cannot be labeled as 'care' by any measure of fanciful imagination. Even while we excel at 'outsourced' customer care the same stringent standards are not applied by desi customer care sweatshops for aam janata.
An average Indian, I presume uses a bank, a mobile service provider ,a 2 wheeler and some miscellaneous services like cable TV,landline connection for telephone.Nowadays, all pamplets and marketing leaflets come with 1800------ numbers [tollfree] . God forbid if you ever dial that number !
My experience has been the following :
1. BSNL customer care: No customer care. Hell, nobody cares if you are the bloody customer.
Scenario # 1: You dig,research,beg, make trips to the telephone exchange to get hold of that elusive number.
Scenario # 2: You dial the number. Any or all of the following might happen to you :
a. The phone rings and rings and rings- the customer rep at the other end is waiting for you to hang up !
b. Since you are a persistent fellow: You dial again. The line is engaged.
c. You dial at any hour of the day - the line is perpetually engaged.
d. You finally get hold of someone at the line. He promises he'll come tomorrow.Of course, tomorrow never comes.
You,on the other hand, start again from Point a.

2. ICICI bank:
Scenario # 1: I make a trip to the bank to fill up a perfectly innocous little form 15G. The bank customer reps smile A LOT in the bank. I think those idiots know very little and care even less about customer care so they smile a lot.
Since I'm a suspicious,cynical ,world weary pretty girl I smile back hoping he doesn't screw up.
All the following happened to me:
a. He screwed up . TDS got cut and i went back to the branch.
b. Let me tell you, I did try their horrendous phone banking. That customer rep kept me on hold on a non toll free number [yes, ICICI bank phone banking numbers are no longer toll free. Did you ever recieve any communication regarding that ? No, I know i didn't ]
Its funny - how they bombard our email boxes with their promotional emails but somehow it becomes our responsibility to keep track of changes they make in their services !
Any way, the phone banking guy told me to go back to the branch.
c. I go to the bank's priviledge counter hoping they 'll solve their glitch. I find myself repeating the story again.
The 'priviledge' bank guy keeps nodding his head and calls up the bank's back office. He repeats my story to the guy/gal on the line. I sit there for some resolution. Nobody calls him back with 'promised callback. I sit looking at him for 45 minutes untill i lose it and ask him to give me a call when he gets some answer.
d. Yeah, you guessed it .I never got any call from him !
e. Since i'm lukha at the moment and feeling very persistent i write to customer care .Each time a new person writes to me asking me to repeat what i have painstakingly written in the first mail i've written to them.
f. I've exchanged over 6-7 mails. No resolution of the problem.
g. My mails were bouncing back when i wrote at customercare@icicibank.com. That stunted retard of customer care manager writes to me saying that their email is working fine.They don't admit mistakes and screw ups.
h. Current status: I'm close to giving up.

Moral of the story: Do not expect customer care by the indians for the indian. There is NO such thing. We as a culture work only when we are bribed.
When you buy the service ,pay the service charge to the government and know that money-back, exchange and all other promises on the paper or by mouth are marketing tools. If the broadband doesn't work or your ipod explodes , consider it money gone to waste because of your karma.
Those toll free numbers are to be used at your own risk and they should come with a warning:- 'Toll free or non toll free customer care numbers are injurious to health'
As for me, I have adopted a Zen-like attitude to customer care because i became worried about my blood pressure.

Musing

Relating to a man or a woman on equal terms based on humanity might be just what is required to build friendships or even love.Will it matter that the person i'm befriending or being attracted be more smarter,more better than average,more intelligent ,more everything ,more successful,fits in societal expectations much better than others? Should i love him/her because in some weird calculations he/she is much better and ahead of others in rat race.If so it happens,does that person love me because I'm not better than him/her ?
Is it worth it ?

Ingliss

Is it just me and my family or it happens with practically every second person in India ?
Last week, the municipality guy came with my super late ,years pending Voter's id card. My name was spelt wrong as usual - i have corrected my names and my family members names at least 7-8 times in last 2 years, in those printed sheets that municipality maydums and babus come with ,knocking on my door.Last time, i lost my patience and gave a peace of my mind to that dumb-looking and possibly drugged lady and i told her i've corrected names quite often and yet she comes with the sheet with misspelt names. Do they have monkeys to do data entry in the PMC offices?
She didn't reply because obviously she was least bothered. She was paid to make rounds of colonies in Pune to get the names corrected.

Anyway that is about the name on the card. Horrors of horrors , that voter's id card had someone else's photograph! It was my misspelt name with some toothy lady's photograph and that municipality idiot repeatedly kept asking me if that photo was not me !
Now, the least thing i can be sure with utmost zeal is to recognize my photo when i see one.Apparently that government zombie couldn't believe his ears !
Unfortunately the story doesn't end here.Ages ago when voter's id card were first thought of - my dutiful parents applied for theirs. Guess what !
Not just misspelt names but they made my Dad with a beard in the photo a 'Female' and totally misspelt my mom's married name.
The same story is about passports too. These documents which more often than not are our id proofs are made by monkeys who can't spell English words and who are so idiotic that they can't copy the names correctly from application forms and certificates that are attached when applying for a passports.
Are the governemnt jobs auctioned ? What kind of uneducated, lazy and careless people are given jobs to make these documents ? No wonder , that anyone can get passports in India with good money thrown in. When so many uneducated youths are jobless can you please reallocate jobs of those who produce shoddy ,misspelt passports and voter's id cards and give their places to someone who can do error free data entry and also use some of their brain and eyes while doing their jobs ?
Now that ,Nandan Nilekani is going to give us are unique id number ,i'm petrified about the mess the municipality and government officers will make with the information collected for that purpose.
God save us and the taxpayers' money going down the drain or in making of a sea link !By the way, has anyone used that bloody sea link as yet ?

Answers

I recently understood a most pertinent fact that everyone is dysfunctional in one sense or the other in this world. It took me years of everyday practical life and many mistakes and a lot of reading to understand that. Yep ,i mostly read to find answers because like most people i don't have a wise old man/woman helping me make sense of my many stumbles.
One such time ,in my darkest period, i came across this site- http://www.helpyourselftherapy.com/topics/grow.html.
I often refer to it when people try to manipulate my reality for their gains and when I let my mind get clouded in my everyday life.
The most primary thought which i keep forgetting is : I have a choice in every situation and only i can choose. Not making my choices however painful it may be :- is still a choice.

Education

Education is a new business in India. All it takes is the name of an achiever and eminent personality at the helm to float a deemed university or business school, promotional marketing and advertising. When i was growing up, i did not see full page ads of any B-school or infact any college.Now, maybe most of the advertisers of the newspapers are those who have set up shops to teach this and that course.
There is no ranking system which can say which university is better based on the staff and infrastructure. There are many private institutes offering novel courses without any kind of accreditation. Every June ,scores of admission notices come out with half baked or total crap posed as information and students lap up.
Why are the consumers of education taking shit dished out by colleges and universities now? Fees have increased 10 fold in many courses and seats have increased yet colleges even the premier ones are dishing out the same story of lack of good staff.
There is a new drama of each college conducting its own entrance tests.Most of these entrance tests are sham.The moneyed and underhand students [and their parents] manage to get admission any ways !
For eg B.ed course in Maharashtra. Rs 650 for CET entrance exam - one gets a form and an information brochure at computer centers which sell these forms. What the information brochure doesn't tell is the computer centre takes Rs 20 to upload the filled form. After CET exam, results are displayed on MKCL website however information brochure of B.Ed fails to inform students that college codes will also be available at the website hence the computer centre [ALC] sells information brochure and college preference form for Rs 50 and Rs 20 to make money.
When one goes through the available colleges under this centralized procedure, there are very few B.Ed colleges in English medium. Majority of the colleges are Marathi medium so one realises there are very few options for only English medium students.
After doing all this one realizes, there ia a separate CET exam conducted by Maharashtra Vina Anudan Adhyapak Mahavidyalay Sansthachalak Association which provides seats in some 100 odd colleges. In short, a brilliant student will have to give atleast 2-3 entrance exams for such courses to keep his options open. For mediocre students, he has to be open to go whereever he gets admission or pay up.
For MBA etc, colleges sell prospectus and forms from 1000 to 1500 and now for other courses like B.Ed ,open category has to shell out 650 + other expenses and then once admitted buy college forms.After long stretched out tamashas,students are then heaped more crap in form of teachers who are sadists,incompetent, unprofessional,egotists who don't want to teach and cover up their inefficiency under the guise of discipline.In India, 90% of teachers are people who don't love to teach !
The only people who are making money are the ones who start these so called colleges and courses with fancy names.

Life on the sidelines!

Cancer hit my family pretty hard exactly 1 year 3 months and 15days ago. I never thought: of all diseases, cancer would hit home . My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer-out of the blue. The year went like a whirlwind -all that i have now is dust in my eyes and ears. For the first 2 months, all of us were dazed.
How can anyone be alert for cancer?
Cancer is part of my life -its always there at the back of my mind. We celebrated when mom got her mammography done last time.She'll have to undergo sonography and x-ray every three months- no guarantees !
We live in hope with unvoiced dread.I've become more cynical,realistic and cold in many ways- I don't know what anyone else can be.
My father suffers from glaucoma,operated in one eye. He has been putting eye drops from last 8 years.He'll have to continue putting drops everyday till he lives.He has diabetes and blood pressure.He's the guy who eats at home ,does not smoke or drink.My mom is a cancer survivor and life is not the same after chemotherapy .Her bones are weakening ,a probable side effect of aromatase inhibitor that she has to take for 5 years.My mom does not drink or smoke ,eats at home, has borne 3 daughters and breastfed them and still she got cancer.Since she's a courageous funky lady who functions on will power- she makes rotis for us and she does most of the things for herself at home.Yet, she's scared of going out alone and crossing the road because she might not be able to run,if required, while crossing the road as traffic in Pune is perilous if not downright crass.
I don't ask anything to God when i pray to him. Don't ask anything to Him for myself.I don't feel like it !And I haven't cried in last one year.Last time i cried was when the fluid sample taken from lump was confirmed cancerous. And that's funny because before my mom got cancer i used to cry when things didn't go my way,in pain or even for a sob story.

Money ,money- my money

I had a frustrating time over the phone with Bajaj Allianz customer care. hence this post. 3 years ago i was sold a ULIP- a bajaj allianz ULIP. And the stock market tanked !
When i bought the policy - it was bought from a friend. I was informed about the charges but nothing about returns and risk and surrender charges.
So now i'm stuck with paying 3 year premium -locked in and the agent who is unreachable through phone or in person -absconding.
Over the period of 3 years this is what i learnt and hopefully still learning:
1. Don't buy a ULIP or mutual funds just because a smooth talking agent promises returns.The returns are NOT gauranteed. In India, even gauranteed returns are NOT guaranteed. So life rule no.1 is applicable here as well,- There are no gaurantees ! .....Yep, don't even trust 'friends' !

2. Read up as much as you can on ULIPs [ it seems in India, 90% of the people are invested in ULIPs and insurance companies are flourishing because people know next to zero about ULIPs].
Its your hard earned money and not the agents'.

3. The agent/financial planner'advisor is going to abscond,disappear, turn a deaf ear etc because that's how business is largely done in India. So be prepared mentally, to keep tab of your investments.

4. Even if the agent doesn't abscond, you still need to periodically keep checking NAVs,make switches in funds in ULIP.You'll need to give more Time to it than your wife/husband/job, i guess.

5. ULIPs have poor returns especially after you include the hefty charges they take from your premium. Yes, buddy, you are probably stuck in a sinking ship just like me.
6.They have a hefty surrender charge even after 3 year lock in period.
7. Its a long long term investment.
8. The customer service of Bajaj allianz is appalling . So i figure, it'll be same with other insurance providers too. So,get very very persistent,assertive and rude if need be to get your work done. That's how it goes in India !
9. Stick to FDs especially if you are stock market,share market or bull /bear challenged !