Tuesday, 23 June 2009

Life on the sidelines!

Cancer hit my family pretty hard exactly 1 year 3 months and 15days ago. I never thought: of all diseases, cancer would hit home . My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer-out of the blue. The year went like a whirlwind -all that i have now is dust in my eyes and ears. For the first 2 months, all of us were dazed.
How can anyone be alert for cancer?
Cancer is part of my life -its always there at the back of my mind. We celebrated when mom got her mammography done last time.She'll have to undergo sonography and x-ray every three months- no guarantees !
We live in hope with unvoiced dread.I've become more cynical,realistic and cold in many ways- I don't know what anyone else can be.
My father suffers from glaucoma,operated in one eye. He has been putting eye drops from last 8 years.He'll have to continue putting drops everyday till he lives.He has diabetes and blood pressure.He's the guy who eats at home ,does not smoke or drink.My mom is a cancer survivor and life is not the same after chemotherapy .Her bones are weakening ,a probable side effect of aromatase inhibitor that she has to take for 5 years.My mom does not drink or smoke ,eats at home, has borne 3 daughters and breastfed them and still she got cancer.Since she's a courageous funky lady who functions on will power- she makes rotis for us and she does most of the things for herself at home.Yet, she's scared of going out alone and crossing the road because she might not be able to run,if required, while crossing the road as traffic in Pune is perilous if not downright crass.
I don't ask anything to God when i pray to him. Don't ask anything to Him for myself.I don't feel like it !And I haven't cried in last one year.Last time i cried was when the fluid sample taken from lump was confirmed cancerous. And that's funny because before my mom got cancer i used to cry when things didn't go my way,in pain or even for a sob story.

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