Fem Bleach

I don't have any aspiration to become fair - never had. I'm pretty happy with my skin color.However, i do yearn for alabaster, pore-less, perpetual young, clear, smooth skin. Ideally , i'd prefer if i never have to consider botox or other surgical treatments for a smoother skin. Alas ! i know its not going to happen.I 'm growing older and the skin will become wrinkled and i'll look old and as yet there is no miracle in a jar !

I bleach [ home bleach kits] primarily for smoothing skin and lighten facial hair.And most women do bleach for exactly those reasons. Bleach creams have existed since god knows when..and for most its a quick fix for smoother fairer skin.

All home bleachkits are same inspite of claims of gold,silver diamond ,neem, turmeric and other such crap . However,if choices have to be made i choose on how fast it works,and whether my skin turns red after bleaching.There is nothing extraordinary in home bleach kits. Its pure chemical reaction which takes place on surface of the skin.

I have used Olivia,Ayur once , older Fem bleach twice. I used to use Jolen quite often untill one day i got a packet with empty activator container and jar with half cream when i bought it.They all turned my skin red for a day or so.

I use bleach only on face and neck.....too lazy to use anywhere else !Infact, i was so sour with bleaching that i stopped bleaching for 3 years during my mom's sickness [i stopped many things like doing eyebrows which i used to do religiously since 15 years of age, cutting my hair - i used to change my hair cut every year. I have tried all hairstyles out there. I was a maniac . ....I chopped off perfectly good long hair for a boy cut].

Then one day 6-7 months ago i spotted Fem Bleach and decided to give it a try. My skin had taken a beating and i had to go to a wedding and i wanted temporary gleam !


I purchased the blue one for wheat colored skin without any expectations.When i used, i experienced 2 things: 1] it didn't burn at all 2] it didn't turn my skin red afterwards.

With just the minimum amount of activator it turned my skin smoother,even and lightened facial hair. I used it strictly as shown in the pamphlet in the box. I was so happy. For the first time i could bleach properly without any trial and error with the bloody activator.

So yeah , i recommend Fem Bleach to bleaching maniacs out there who bleach for every reason,season or rhyme !

heart attacks and women

Most of the women live in the knowledge that 'heart attacks [ congestive heart failure,myocardial infarction ] are 'MEN'S DISEASE'.
Years and years of magazine articles and health spreads of everyday newspapers have gone on and on about symptoms of heart attacks in men.

Here is a talk from TED which will quickly dispel all your myths !
health threat women face

The moot points are :

In men, heart attacks are loud, quick and painful.Yes , groping left arm pain and chest pain and when they are rushed to hospitals and when labs are done most indicators are high which gives a clear indication of an heart attack.

In women, signs are subtle, chest pain  may be there or not or even slight. Some experience conflicting symptoms like nausea and uneasy sensation or giddiness. And the cardiac indicators on the lab tests are not high enough sometimes to cause alarm in the doctors .So diagnosis is poor. So in a women it largely goes undiagnosed on time and treatment modalities are also not as effective as in men.

The good news is in India doctors have woken up and are aware that women present heart disease symptoms in different ways and are actively and seriously looking when women come with even a minor chest discomfort or other symptoms.

What can women do for themselves ?

1. Recognise the new stats and be aware . In india breast cancer is still a greater killer in women because of late diagnosis in most cases. Similarly be aware and take care of your heart.Do those preventive health check ups.

2. In India more and more women are working late hours, are doubly stressed..........and more importantly we have to fight for everything that is actually is our God given rights. India is not the best place to be a women but i'm hopeful that things might change. In india women work in the house and outside while roles of men are still only as breadwinner. I know being a care taker is hardwired in our DNA but take good care of yourself too. Don't blame yourself,feel guilty or ashamed and if you do actively try to learn skills to combat these feelings.Don't be in hurtful relationships or friendships.Don't care what others are telling especially those who point fingers at you and trying to make you feel bad by judging you.Don't lose yourself in trying to be a good wife ,good DIL or daughter or even a mother. Ask the men in your lives to help you. Bringing up children and running a household is even his responsibility. Seriously, having children and how many and even marriage is a choice.Women face the brunt of pregnancy and bringing up children so its only your choice alone.

3. In india,in conservative households, leftovers are mostly eaten by women and fresh food is given to men. While there is nothing wrong in eating leftovers, make sure its eaten by all or make food only in required quantities. This requires paradigm shift because i have seen women are in charge of cooking and preparing food in such households yet they treat themselves like this.Hold men to different standards: If a man cries or helps in the kitchen, cooks food,cleans the house and is vocal about his feelings.... ITS GOOD !He doesn't become less of a man in any way.If you want to be treated equal and want gentler men , stop saying boys don't cry and bring up boys like human beings instead of MEN !

4. Go for your walks. Instead of taking a rick for 2kms walk if you have the time. Take stairs instead of lifts. Exercise. More and more women have pauch just like men because they have stopped doing physical work and are sitting in office and working on computers.Go do your errands and make the men in your life too and even your children otherwise how they will learn to maintain an active physical life.The funny thing is even maids i see these days are fatter !
The only way to increase stamina unfortunately is 'resistance'- when you strain against something or pull weight ! So don't be afraid to pick up heavy bags or stuff untill and unless you have been told by doctors not to !

5. Don't try to be like men...they are NOT very good role models! Smoking ,drinking,drugs,chewing tobacco and paan masala give the same high to women and men. But women physiology is different then men.These substances when consumed will affect and lead to horrible diseases !So not worth it !

6. In india,men are not trained in household chores by their mothers so for some women it becomes double work of working outside and then doing household chores too. So either spend on help [ which is a different pain in itself- finding good reliable help] or plan to do only this much and delegate other work to husbands and kids.While you are at it make sure you teach your sons and daughters to cook and clean up after themselves if nothing else !

7. Why do i stress on learning to cook- hey its directly related to your health. You decide which oil you use and how much. You decide how to cook a certain vegetable and how much. How much personalization will an eatery,cook or even a fancy dabbawallah give you ? So untill and unless you are a millionaire with an obedient and health conscious cook who will minutely follow your instructions you better learn to cook whether you like it or not. Eating junk food and surviving on maggi all the time because you won't cook or won't make time for cooking your meals will directly affect your health and weight.

8. Make informed choices that are good for you. Don't just do what others expect of you.I know for most women this is very difficult especially simpler, meek and gentle natured women.Do only stuff which makes you feel good and not used.And making these choices is going to be a constant battle.If you are gentle and trusting as person, predatory men and women will try to undermine you in different ways and complicate your life.

Avocado oil

I first saw an avocado and ate one on my brief visit to Bengalore.Its a funny fruit, green on the outside with a huge pit in the stomach and flesh with no taste of its own !

Goes without saying i didn't know there was an oil pressed from the fruit and yeah even has a butter- avocado butter.

One of my friends got me Avocado oil from US - Now foods brand a 100ml bottle. Its edible and also to be used in personal care as an emollient. I had asked her to get Apricot and avocado oil if possible since i had heard about these exotic oils which are unavailable in India easily and effortlessly.

i used Avocado oil mixed with coconut oil in winters only for luxurious pampering on skin.So i knew it to be super moisturizing, non greasy and gives a soft conditioning effect on the skin even after shower.

One day when my hair felt drier than usual i thought of using avocado oil on scalp alone. My scalp is drier than hair on most days.i didn't expect anything but just after shampooing alone my hair was smooth,frizz free and soft ....moreover my scalp felt soft and conditioned too. I usually oil the scalp more and just lightly the hair strands. No other oil has given me a conditioned soft scalp especially after shampooing with the sole purpose of removing oil !

My hair didn't require any conditioner. They 'felt' conditioned,'fed' and soft to touch.Well, its been a year since i have been oiling with avocado oil atleast once in approx 40 days.Its only an 100ml bottle and i'm already on lookout on how i can procure avocado oil easily in India. Any answers?

I'm in love with this oil. Will switch to avocado oil completely once i do manage to sort out procurement issues.

Do try it. I recommend for dry, parched hair and scalp !Just a simple oil massage and shampoo it out as usual ! Just plain oil with no additives,essential oils or herbs . Don't boil it with any herbs in it. Just use it out of the bottle !

All time favourite songs

I have always been extremely particular about what music i listen to. Mostly i have been neurotically loyal and fastidious about what i really like. Goes without saying i don't listen to what i 'tolerate' or don't like. Well , that's why i usually don't listen to Radio until and unless i remember when my favourite tracks are played.
 I have a huge list of favourites. India's musical legacy is so rich and diverse that there is so much of variety to listen to and like.

The list is in no particular order :

1. Suriili Akhiyon wale- Rahat fateh ali khan. Like his father Nusrat fateh ali khan[ who is my favourite too] his voice is like silk and very suited to melodies. I like his other songs too but Surili akhiyon wale is ethereal and the music is superb.

2. Mirza Ghalib's nazms sung by Talat mahmood and Jagjit Singh. I am crazy about Talat Mahmood's and Jagjit Singh's voice. They have sung lots of ghazals and nazms and really for Mirza Ghalib who better than these two.

3.Music from Hindi film industry especially of 70's and before holds a special place in my heart. There are some movies which are known more for the exceptional music and beautiful songs. My favorites are Guide,Arth,Bazaar,Ghar,Anubhav,Ijaazat,Aandhi,Teesri Manzil,Umroa jaan, Pakeezah and Bandini.I have grown up listening to these songs and they are part of my childhood.

4. ABBA,Nazia Hassan,My fair Lady,Cliff Richards,Sting,Eagles,Ronan Keating -These too form a part of childhood and youth.i am not fan of hard rock and couldn't really bear the loud music in discotheques. But i love disco,jazz. In pain ,sadness ,failures and disappointments ABBA has stood me through. Not many people know that whenever i feel pain and am hurt...Dancing Queen plays in my head automatically. That is the way i go past that pain /hurt. I still blast ABBA as loudly as i can to block out pain and hurts. I want to be buried with ABBA and Beethoven's 9th Symphony playing in the background if it would be possible!

5.Beethoven's symphonies,Joplin, Rachmaninoff- I have heard a few pieces of western classical but am no expert on it.Beethoven is my newest love. I have heard Beethoven more and seem to instinctively drawn to his music- angst and pathos . His 9th Symphony is favourite from what i have heard so far.

6. Deewana by sonu nigam. This album is my favourite of this singer. Each and every song.

This list is no way complete.There are so many gems which are waylaid..........

What are your favourites ?

Aashiqui

Do you remember the movie Aashiqui ? Well if you don't know the craze it garnered and about the movie then i guess you were born after 1993 !

This is not the movie review...but then why am i talking about it ? Well, because Ashiqui along  with QSQT is tied in with my teenage years.My blessed years when i was in 8th ,9th and 10th standard.

To tell you the truth i hadn't seen the movie in theatre at that time. My parents were never movie mongers. And i heard about Ashiqui and QSQT from girls at school. I was in all girls school. I don't know how all- girls' convent schools are these days [ for that matter- i don't identify my school years with school going children in these times] but when i was in school most of the girls' were just curious about boys and usually the bold ones had talked to and played with guys. Otherwise all we did was fantasize about romance and pretty clothes after seeing them in movies!

This was the time when movies- was just about song,dance and romance...and pretty much nothing else. The songs of ashiqui were sung in school by girls in free periods,in competitions etc. They became big. Well ,I hadn't seen the movie then ! Knew about the songs because they were blared everywhere on probably every festival !

I saw Ashiqui yesterday on TV for the first time. And it seemed so cliched ,so innocent, so full of hamming and so typical !

Ashiqui had everything - a typical formula ! It has the hero writing a letter with blood, staring up at the heroine through her window, a side kick - a best friend who just keeps hanging around the hero day or night and has all the time and money in the world.A leaky story and convenient twists in the plot which all Hindi movie scripts were full of then ...so yeah worth a watch especially if you have blown up 200 bucks for Rowdy Rathore kind of movies !

The movie is full of melodramatic overacting and the hero and heroine notably forgetttable and wooden. The dialogues are typical 90s with ....main tum se pyar karta hu shouted from the rooftops and across the roads. The romance these days on screen is more practical and real [ well, as much as they can be !]

Another flare that Ashiqui portrayed was of 'love at first sight' . I mean true love at first sight kind ! A rarity in these ascrambled times. I didn't believe in love at first sight then and nor do i believe now but the 90s movies were full of that. The hero swears of true love before he exchanges names and 'how do you dos' with the heroine.How cool and cheesy is that? Makes one believe that such a love might exist !

The heroine was a change. For a country obsessed with fair skin, there is this dusky brown and very tall heroine who doesn't look like one !Kudos for that !But somehow, we didn't see much of her later !
The heroine is also shown wanting to be independent and is later shown helping her lover..though that macho guy misunderstands her and fights with her. But then like all Bollywood movies it ends on a happy note.

Well, those were the days...............