Oh well ! Like You [the reader] I've heard oft enough how you cannot change people. Not through words,not by sticks and stones and definitely not by shaming or inducing guilt in them.
However, I truly internalized this only now.
Being a partial control freak, i usually had a list of people. If only X didn't do this ,if only Y was kinder and more understanding...,blah and blah.And i actually told them do this,don't do that.
Oh well ! I failed changing them .
So i'm going to do the next best thing - Change myself ,my attitude and decidedly have strong boundaries so that i can keep mean,selfish,narcissitic people out of my life.